Showing up

Steve is correct. It is so easy to let go the center and begin seeking the outside things. It is exactly this loss of center which feeds us for all those other things. This is the best I can do today. I arrive for future hope.

Must....go....on....can't.....give.....up....now

short short short

In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Life is too busy for time spent with God. No! Must read Scripture, must pray, must not let the bastards get me down.

today is brief and is based on 1John. What a great chance preachers have on this sunday to explain to people just what Jesus did for them. Atonement is something we talk about alot in classes, but hear little about in the pulpit. Let's get back to teaching people what their faith means.

not feeling generous (BCP)

So it was that for an entire year they met with the church and taught a great many people, and it was in Antioch that the disciples were first called "Christians."

The title above has more to do with me than it does with any of the readings for today. I'm not feeling very generous today. The flipping acting director of field education is up my ass about my work learning agreement. I feel like I'm in the opening scene of Office Space and have placed the wrong cover sheet on my TPS Reports. Grrrr!

Along those not so generous lines, guess what I learned today. I learned that followers of Jesus were first called Christians in Antioch (Acts 11). Guess where I didn't learn that. New Testament class, that's right. Grrrr!

And then I read this
Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4)

A perfect end to my not so generous day. Convicted of my need to love more. I know! Seriously, I know!

So, its back to prayer for a more generous spirit and a softer heart.

Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to you, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly yours, utterly dedicated to you; and then use us, we pray, as you desire, and always to your glory and the welfare of your people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

What is it with these people (BCP)

Has any people ever heard the voice of a god speaking out of a fire, as you have heard, and lived? Or has any god ever attempted to go and take a nation for himself from the midst of another nation, by trials, by signs and wonders, by war, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, and by terrifying displays of power, as the LORD your God did for you in Egypt before your very eyes?

Over and over and over again the people turn from their God. Over and over and over again they get enamored with a shiny calf.
Over and over and over again they fail to live up to God's call which
over and over and over again leads to problems in judges, in kings, in syncrtistic worship.

Over and over and over again I turn away from God.
Over and over and over agian I get enamored with the empty boxes on my to-do list.
Over and over and over again I fail to live up to God's call which
over and over and over again leads to problems in relationships, in time-management, in practices.

This part of the book of Deuteronomy sounds like something I should try to memorize. It seems like if I had this as a mantra defining the beat of my life I might not do these things over and over and over again. I might listen to God. I might do the things that He has asked me to do. I might live into the covenant.

In Honor of Philip (BCP)

There are few stories in the Bible that I find cooler than Philip and the Eunuch. And how appropriate on this feast day of Philip and James the less!

Being in OT this year has opened my eyes to a lot of things that I had never before thought of or heard. Philip didn't have the great benefit of Stephen Cook as his OT professor. No. Instead, Philip drew on his experience with the risen Jesus of Nazareth to unpack the ancient Hebrew Scripture.

"Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter,

and like a lamb silent before its shearer,

so he does not open his mouth.

In his humiliation justice was denied him.

Who can describe his generation?

For his life is taken away from the earth."

The suffering servant passages in II-Isaiah are amazing in the light of 750 years of history between when they were uttered and when they came to fulfillment in Christ Jesus. I know I'm all over the place tonight, but all that aside what is really fascinating to me is the way in which Philip trusts the Spirit. An angel appears to him first and says "go" and he goes. Then the Spirit commands him to go over to an Ethiopian chariot, and he goes. Then, one can only assume that the Spirit opens the Scriputres to Philip and allows him to speak, and he speaks. Then Philip is called upon to baptize (without formal training "gasp") and he baptizes the man. Still again, the Spirit snatches up ol' Philip and upon his arrival at the new place, Philip goes on proclaiming the Good News.

Wow, what faith!

Ezekiel- BCP

So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd; and scattered, they became food for all the wild animals. My sheep were scattered, they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill; my sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with no one to search or seek for them.

I was speaking with a friend at school two days ago. We were discussing the fact that Heresy does not simply go away but keeps re-emerging. I asked him how he felt about our church with the growing acceptance of what constitutes truth. I asked him how that may effect his ministry. Without blinking an eye he made the causual but profound reply. The mission field begins in the pews.

Ezekiel is called to prophesy against the shepherds. In their gorging themselves on the fruits coming from the sheep themselves (fat, wool) they lost sight of the task at hand. Shepherds are not to cull the heard but shepherd. The judgement is not that shepherds are not supposed to eat but that in their eating and feasting they have lost sight of the sheep and now the sheep are wandering becoming food for all type of wild animals.

How large is the sex trade in the world? How seductive its claims? How easy is it to get lost in the seduction of gratification? How easy to lose sight of the fact that millions are dying of Aids or the other host of other sexually transmitted diseases or the fact that sex often trumps relationship so children are abandoned in the pursuit of greater and greater gratification.

How large is the corporate ladder? How important the paycheck? By making the right moves now a person could make the salary and find himself or herself at the top. By saving every dime and investing it in the market you can protect yourself for a self indulgent retirment. So what if you need to work 80-90 hours a week. So what if persons around you are not making it . So what if communities are being compromised for profits. So what if individual success calls us to lose sight that others (our families, our neighbors, our communities)

Libertarianism, Democracy, Socialism, Communism, Maoists, Republians, federalists, Jihadists, all have their claims. They all if followed will help us be better people. They will help us become the community that will overcome corruption, greed, envy, hate, war, and oppression. Each has its claim the idea that it will bring people to a better life. By following its tenets these human systems will enrich and deliver.

And so the sheep have become scattered. They walk through high mountains and become pray for wild animals. Lost and with out guidance they will seek strange places to lay their heads. They will seek comfort, solace, salvation in lands that willingly offer to take them in. They will be bathed and gloried for entering these lands. Yet will what our scattered sheep find be enough. Will sex and work and politics be enough to sustain the sheep. Will it comfort the sheep in times of crises. Will it lift up the sheep for who they are? Will it love them without seeking anything in return? Will it save?

Yet the shepherds eat losing sight of the sheep. The collar and the stole becoming the very thing that judges us.

even truth (BCP)

Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common.

My sister, 4, and I, 6, had the following fight on a trip from Lancaster, PA to Chicago, IL.

Lisa - Say the sky is green
Steve - the sky is green
Lisa - NO! the sky is blue!
Steve - NO! the sky is green!
and so on...

I feel like this is the fight that goes on each and every day within churches mainline and otherwise.
Theologian - Say the resurrection was a metaphor
Other Theologian - the resurrection was a metaphor
T - NO! It is an historic event!
OT - NO! It was a metaphor!
and so on...

We spend so much time an effort holding on to our possessions, not the least of which is (T/t)ruth these days, but to what avail? We ignore so much fighting over the color of the sky, fighting over stuff we're not even sure we believe, fighting over possessions. What would it look like if everything we owned was held in common? As a good capitalist I realize this would be a mess, but bear with me for a second. what would it look like if instead of holding tightly onto my Truth I opened my eyes and saw the bit of truth you hold? Seeing your truth, I might share with you mine, and we both walk away with a bigger piece of the truth pie than we had before. Eventually through conversation after conversation my truth piece will be enormous, so big that I cannot comprehend the depth of it, but a mere kernal in comparison with the Truth of the godhead.

What do you know that you might share with me?

Hard, hard words- Ezekiel

Ah, you shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fatlings; but you do not feed the sheep. You have not strengthened the weak, you have not healed the sick, you have not bound up the injured, you have not brought back the strayed, you have not sought the lost, but with force and harshness you have ruled them. So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd; and scattered, they became food for all the wild animals.

I am this. These words strike deeply. These are words of challenge to be sure. They challenge in that shepherds are called to act as servants of others and not servants of self. How often do I find myself worried, consumed even, with ideas of taking care of self. What will my salary be? Will I be able to afford a large house? Will the church stay together that I may be eligible for the pension? Me, me, me

And Ezekiel comes slamming through in judgment: You have not strengthened the weak, you have not healed the sick, you have not bound up the injured, you have not brought back the strayed, you have not sought the lost...They were scattered

They were scattered. The sheep are scattered and God's judgment weighs down, "Do you love me? Yes Lord "Feed my sheep", Do you love me? Yes Lord, "Take care of my lambs", Do you love me? Yes Lord. "Feed my sheep"

Who would of thought that Jesus was speaking judgment to Peter?

the gift of sickness

Strangely, I have learned a bit about the gift of sickness over the last day or so. My son came down with a stomach bug a few days ago and gave it to me. I found myself laid up for much of yesterday afternoon and today, while lying restlessly, I found myself saying a shortened form of the Jesus prayer, "Lord Jesus Christ, Have Mercy On Me". I found myself able to pray even in the midst of some agony, and all my overly intellectualized faith became nothing but a murmur on my lips, it was an experiential parable for me.

I second Steve's to do list comment, I am far too busy; did Jesus die for me to have to do so much work?

my idol (the to-do list) is back

I've set up the readings for the week, but will excuse myself ahead of time due to way too much stuff on my to-do list. I'll be praying for you, please pray for me.

Micah and continued drippings of sweetness- like apple pie bubbled over...

He shall judge between many peoples,
and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away;
they shall beat their swords into plowshares,and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,neither shall they learn war any more;

Whether it is real blood or proverbial blood there is a promise delivered in these words. Conflict rarely shows what is the best in us. The conflict arrises, our hackles rise and we lash out. Enemies can come in many guises. They look different. They smell different. They wear their hair different. And as we so often see under our own Christian roof our enemies are not those on the outside but usually those within. They think different.

In Micah we are encouraged to take some important steps prior to the promise. Already the persons of faith have been called to go to the mountain. The first step is not act or react but pray. Wait on God. Seek first the kingdom. Seek first the kingdom? Seek first the kingdom! As creatures we are willfully ignorant. Like my 13 year old son who is convinced that anything that I might say is ignorant due to the fact he already understands. When we live with the idea we got it all wrapped up- taken care of- figured out- we are in contempt. Contempt! "Who are you to say there is no God?" or God's rant to Job "Have you created the heavens?" We are given a great gift with our intelligence but when we confuse the gift as the giver we are in contempt. It has been said, nothing will keep a man in everlasting ignorance but contempt prior to investigation. Micah reminds us first, "Go to the mountain." "that he may teach us his ways".

In our waiting on God, God will give us his instruction. "The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord." Fear in this context has been said to really mean Awe. That dramatic understanding of both terror and excitement. The understanding that when we wait on God we're not waiting on some two bit servant boy but the very creator and sustainer of the universe. We are waiting on the same Jesus who can command healing with his word. This is no patsy boy Jesus but a powerhouse..."The father and I are one." As Micah suggests here in our moving toward God, God will move toward us and is willing to teach us. If Micah is a good witness this is exciting stuff. Why do I so often go it alone- see first paragraph. On a larger level our going it alone in the church might undermine all our good intention. Seek first and the teaching will come. This brings us to,

He shall judge between many peoples,
and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away;
they shall beat their swords into plowshares,and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,neither shall they learn war any more;

The promise is held out there before us. In our current political and ecclesiastical debates over sexuality and the faith I see and hope for the promise. God will judge. Period. He will judge. Whom will he judge? All of us. While initially daunting I find comfort in ABC Rowan Williams when he accentuates that judgement and grace come together. As we wait and he teaches I believe that he will uphold those things we have been faithful with while seeking to root out and destroy our faithlessness, resentment, anger, pity, and hardheartedness. God will arbitrate. We will suddenly realize that our war like stances need to be dropped. We will see with clarity the beauty of Christ in the gaze of our brother. Network will not lift up sword against ECUSA and the west will beat their swords into plowshares for their southern cone bishops.

Not possible you say? Have you sought first the kingdom?

koinonia

Meaning: 1) fellowship, association, community, communion, joint participation, intercourse 1a) the share which one has in anything, participation 1b) intercourse, fellowship, intimacy 1b1) the right hand as a sign and pledge of fellowship (in fulfilling the apostolic office) 1c) a gift jointly contributed, a collection, a contribution, as exhibiting an embodiment and proof of fellowship

The kind of fellowship the first letter of John is calling for is some serious stuff. Community, communion, intercourse, intimacy!?!? This isn't just Dunkin' Donuts and Coffee after church, this is FELLOWSHIP. In light of all the conversation going on in the run up to General Convention this passage can't help but catch my attention.

we declare to you what we have seen and heard so that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ... If we say that we have fellowship with him while we are walking in darkness, we lie and do not do what is true; but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

As we struggle to stay in conversation (apologies to those who consider this a 4-letter word) we struggle to stay in communion, in fellowship. We share so that you might have fellowship with us... this conversation is Biblical. Keep talking for it is in sharing stories (not least of which the Gospel) that we find fellowship. And fellowship with you models fellowship with the father. "If we say that we have fellwoship... while we are walking in the darkness, we lie" I read this as "In order for us to be in fellowship we must be willing to admit, 'Yeah I might be wrong.'" Let's keep the conversationi going. Let's not run away to our camp. Let's not say things like, "we don't need you anyway" or "you'll come around." Let's enjoy the conversation, for that is were we find fellowship, koinonia, community, communion, intimacy.

Psalm 4 (RCL)

Psalm 4 Page 587, BCP

1

Answer me when I call, O God, defender of my cause; *
you set me free when I am hard-pressed;
have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

2

"You mortals, how long will you dishonor my glory; *
how long will you worship dumb idols
and run after false gods?"

3

Know that the LORD does wonders for the faithful; *
when I call upon the LORD, he will hear me.

How long, indeed will I run after dumb idols, how long will I run after false gods? What about the idol of grades, trying to get just a few more points on my GPA, for what? So I can feel smrt? So I can gain God's salvation? What about the idol of filling up my time all the time? Who do I think I am, God?....isn't this idolatry, not obeying the Sabbath, thinking that my work is what gets me into the promised land? So, I read, I write, I rush to field ed, I rush home, I go to forums, I get pooped. Then there is a moment, when I am rushing down the GW parkway in my painted trashcan of a car when I see the created world, not nature only, but that I see nature as the creation, and I reflect upon my own created being, and I see that so soon the ashes will not just be placed upon my forehead, but that my entire earthly body will be ashes, and I will return to my creator. I remember Yoda in Empire Strikes Back referring to his body as "this crude matter" ... he had a sense that his creation was contingent (for him the Force, for us God).

In running after false gods, in making myself and my own study, busy-ness, and activity my idol, I do dishonor God's glory. Can't I see that this is just a short stop at the station of this world, and can't I accept the gift of the time here with gratitude and reverence?

I'm sticking with Micah- Sweetness 3

For out of Zion shall go forth instruction,
and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.

My handy, dandy Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church defines Zion as "the mount on which the temple stood, 'God's holy hill' at Jerusalem." Hence it is the home of God, the place of the seat of the Covenant. The home of God, the holy of the holies. As Christians we are heirs to our 'elder brothers'. JPII referred to the Jews as our 'elder brothers' when he came to Jerusalem and asked them for forgiveness. As Christians who claim their legitamacy by being chosen through God's grace we would be unwise to forget that an older tribe was chosen first to deliver this message. They were servants before we were servants.

Our history should not be forgotten in our rush to try and fix the world. I think specifically here of our mad dash toward San Fransisco seeking to put forward another homosexual bishop in the name of Justice. While certainly I do not want to forget the word of the lord that came out of Jerusalem "love one another as I loved you" I want to hold it in tension with more difficult words, "as he (Jesus) drew near (to Jerusalem), he saw the city and wept over it saying, "If this day you only knew what makes for peace- but now it is hidden from your eyes. For the days are coming upon you when your enemies will raise a palisade against you; they will encircle you and hem you in on all sides. They will smash you to the ground and your children within you, and they will not leave one stone upon another within you because you did not recognize the time of your visitation."(Luke 19:41-43)

I wonder in our rushing, seeing all those opposed to ECUSA's actions as enemies or worse homophobes we are not first ignoring Micah's simple prounouncement. Could we be failing to God to God first? Is God only found in the social gospel? Does God call us to fix the world or does God first seek us into relationship with Him. This is the message I think Micah is saying here to the ECUSA. First seek God. Seek God first to hear what the rest of the church is saying. Allow them to begin to understand. Trust that they are your brothers and sisters in Christ. Allow them to see that our Church seeks first the kingdom as Micah suggests. Allow them to see and discover the same spirit that you are witnessing to. To act now in civil disobedience will only convince the wider world not of our love of justice but our love of autonomy. Our call may be first to trust not in our own understanding of Justice but that our God seeks to guide us if we are but willing to listen.

For out of Zion shall go forth instruction,
and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.

Have you read Acts?

When they had made the prisoners, Peter and John, stand in their midst, they inquired...


I'm rushing tonight to be done before American Idol. I know, I know, one shouldn't rush through a spiritual discipline. I know, I know, American Idol?!? I know, I know. But actually it was in my rushing (read reading in a different context) that I saw something I have yet to realize this week. Peter and John are in jail already, and its only Easter 3; its only Acts 4. Wow, how did we get here from the empty tomb? We're already in trouble, we're already causing problems, we're already blessed with the Holy Spirit (well sort of, we've got some time before Pentecost).

There seems to be a lot to reflect on as our Lectionary propels us so quickly from Resurrection to Martyrdom to the Catholic Epistles of John. Wow!

OK Rod Stewart Nite on IDOL!!!! Do you think I'm sexy?

Sweetness 2- BCP

"Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD,
to the house of the God of Jacob;
that he may teach us his ways
and that we may walk in his paths."
For out of Zion shall go forth instruction,
and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between many peoples,
and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away;
they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
neither shall they learn war any more;
but they shall all sit under their own vines and under their own fig trees,

I must admit I am not happy. I had this great reflection on the first four lines of Micah. It was lost while attempting a spell check. ARRGGGGGG!!!! I reflected on Rowan Williams and his use of Richard Hooker. RW discusses in his last article on Hooker that Hooker while upholding Scripture was not, unlike his opponents the Puritans, bound to believe that Scripture was the only way to know the mind of God. Hooker upholds the idea, which struck me like a ton of bricks the first time I read it, that while we go to the Bible and read the witnesses of the Bible, we often lose sight of the fact that all the hero's of the Bible did not have a Bible. They had God and as Micah reveals, God is present to us here and now and can be sought. Micah reveals a witness and understanding that can shake the boots of any of us who tend to live in the illusion that I am here and God is in some high and distant place. Micah suggests not only are God's ways open to us but that God himself is close enough to teach us if we are willing.

Sweet! Micah! (BCP)

So glad to have written a one-page refelction on this text for OT just two weeks ago. I share it with you becasue I am still exhuasted from Easter but am trying to live into my Good Friday call to blog.

In the story of the Tower of Babel (Gen 11.1-10) it becomes very clear that the idol of self-help is one that is despicable to God, and yet it seems that the people of God still hadn’t figured it out. In reading Micah we see a time when many different nations had built themselves up on their own self-interests. We see, in fact, a time when the nation of Judah, part of God’s chosen people, had chosen to rely on its own political capital rather than the God of their ancestors who had shown over and over again his authority over even the strongest of political powers. The Judgment of Jerusalem which precedes this pericope calls forth – once again – God’s people to be God’s people.

And then… And then, Micah shows that this judgment is not without grace. That if/when the people do return to God it will not be just God’s chosen people, but instead all those dispersed at the Tower of Babel will be brought together again at the mountain of the Lord in search of his way. The people who had for so long relied on themselves would again turn to the will of the Lord. This returning to the Lord will bring about the kingdom of peace which God had in mind from the beginning.

As we know, however, this returning to the Lord will not happen on this side of the Eschaton. As Christians we live in constant hope for the Kingdom of God. In this time of war, terrorism, natural disaster, and the general polarization of society we are keenly aware that this time of peace is far, far away.

And then… And then we come to this passage of hope in the midst of great despair in Micah. We are called to look past this time of judgment to see the promises of God enacted as we ascend Mount Zion and are cleansed of the sin of pride.

Into your hands I commend my spirit

Good Friday Reflection

We Remember his hands,
Gesturing to the fishermen, He called them
To set down their nets and become fishers of people.
His hands gave healing to the sick and the unclean
The spirit of healing flowed from his hands
He laid his hands on each of them and cured them
He laid his hands on one, and immediately she stood up straight and began praising God.
Water became wine and a few loaves and fishes became a feast.

He predicted he would end up betrayed into human hands
But he continued to heal and to teach parables of the kingdom
The powers wanted to lay hands on him at that very hour, but they feared the people.
Though they tried, they did not lay hands upon him when he was a babe
They did not lay hands upon him in the temple
They did not lay hands upon him on the plain
They did not lay hands upon him when he healed
They did not lay hands upon him when he cleaned the temple
And he saw that they did not lay hands upon him
Day after day in the temple, they did not lay hands on him.
But this is their hour, and the power of darkness
Brought their hands upon him.

The journey he has made into the world from God
is nearly done,
but his work and his life will endure in a new way.

His work of healing,
of teaching,
of preaching,
of walking the way of God in the world.
Welcoming the outcast,
visiting the lonely,
the sick
those in prison,
healing those in turmoil,
liberating the oppressed.
He walked with them,
healed them
and offered hope.
But his work and his life will endure in a new way.

His life is gift,
God’s gift to God’s creation.
Ours, too are pure gift,
We are brought into the world
and are held in loving hands as infants,
hands of our parents,
hands of our guardians,
hands of the ones who baptize us,
the hands of our siblings,
and the hands of our teachers, priests and the hands of our friends.
We lay our hands upon others in healing,
we hold the hurt of others as we offer our open hands up in prayer,
we hold up our hands to receive the Eucharistic Feast.
We offer up our hands as we commend our lives to God’s service.
From your hands we have received our lives,
Into your hands we commend our lives and our spirit.

Their hands held him,
Their hands nailed his hands to the cross.
In the moment that worldly hands bound him
He offered no curse
No condemnation
But the gift of radical forgiveness
He saw the hands that would bring him home,
The hands that had supported him all along,
The hands that had held him up in the temple,
The hands that supported him in the wilderness,
The hands that had offered direction and comfort.

In that moment that the hands of the world bound him,
He commended his spirit to the hands that endure,
When he might have cried out in anger or fear
Jesus offered a prayer from the Psalms,
“Into your hands I commend my spirit”
No longer bound by the hands of his captors,
No longer bound by his hands to the cross,
Jesus makes his own funeral commendation,
This cry is no cry of loneliness
of dereliction,
but is a prayer and a deep hope.
He seeks out the hands of his father, from whose hands he became incarnate
The hands that hold the entire world, and caress from when newborn children until today.

In that moment of cosmic loneliness,
He felt God’s hands reaching to him,
He saw the hands of his Father,
his Abba,
caressing him
offering love,
"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.”
In the moment when the hands of the world betrayed him
a prayer.

Calling out into the darkness
But, in hope and love,
God would hear him and hold him
Not a distant deity without care or concern
But a compassionate and loving God
He trusted the loving hands of his Father
He trusted those hands that had held him from the beginning
And were there all along
Holding him, supporting him, and guiding him.

His life is gift,
God’s gift to God’s creation.
Darkness came over the whole land,
The sun’s light failed,
The curtain of the temple was torn in two,
Crying with a loud voice,
“Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.”

Good Friday 2006 - I am called to blog.

On Good Friday we are called to be like Thomas. We are called to live in doubt and fear. We are called to remember what it was like not only for the disciples, but for Jesus, the Son of God, God himself, who decended to hell.

As I write it is just past noon. The skies around Gathsemane have gone dark. The people who have mocked, spit, and scorned are now beginning to wonder; are now beginning to fear. "What if we got this wrong?" The disciples have scattered (hence the link above) and are now continuing to wonder; are now continuing to fear. "What if we got this wrong?" I sit in front of my computer, some 2000 years later, now wondering; now fearing, but my wonder and fear are a little different. "What if in all my business, all my field work, I miss the point? What if I forget to put my fingers in his hand and my hand in his side? What if I don't feel the sorrow and doubt before revelling in the resurrection?" I'm so thankful to have this place to read, pray, think, and write. For 15 minutes I am able to get out of my business and focus on my faith.

Today I am called to be like Thomas. I am called to fear and doubt. I am called to forget what I know is going to happen on Sunday and focus on the pain and sorrow of today. I am called to remember my role in the crucifixion. I am called to reflect on my God decending into hell.

I am called to blog.

From Fear to Joy: John 20 (BCP & RCL)

In Easter 2’s Gospel reading, we hear the story of Jesus on the evening of his resurrection as he enters the house of fear and doubt, re-creates his disciples and sends them out to embody God’s peace to the world. However, before he enters, the disciples hide in a house behind locked doors in fear of the Jewish authorities. This setting is quite different than the one in which the disciples sat with Jesus just a few days before: eating bread and drinking wine with their Lord. Then, they were twelve with Jesus. Now they are but ten: Judas betrayed Jesus, and Thomas is absent. Like sitting in a coastal home awaiting a tropical storm surge they sit in a house of fear.

They have some reason to be anxious. Wouldn’t we also be stressed out? This is not a poker night, this is a frightful night. The Greek word for fear in John’s gospel is “phobos,” fearfulness, timidity; shrinking from fear” – and the disciples do shrink from fear. We can imagine that the disciples bolting the doors; duct taping the windows, and stockpiling the canned food. Though the disciples hear Mary’s message of the resurrection they obviously don’t yet believe that message. In this house of fear, the disciples probably long for the past. They remember their Lord and wonder: “what will happen now?” Would he judge mercifully when he returns? The disciples were not model followers in those last days. Even Peter denied Jesus at the end. While he was alive and taught them, the twelve believed; or thought they did. But, now two are gone, what will happen to the rest of the disciples? Jesus had come, and promised he would come again. John reminds us just earlier in Chapter 20, v. 9:

“For as yet they did not understand the Scripture,

that He must rise again from the dead.”

Sitting there in that room, the disciples long for the past. But, in the present, they sit nervously, breathing the spirit of fear.

And how fear can immobilize us! Though we work to keep fear at bay, we, too, are no strangers to fear: terrorism, global warming, environmental destruction, gun violence, aging, and death. Fear can grab us and once started, it can overwhelm us like a flood. We fear for the safety of our young ones, our aging parents, and our fragile friends. Our hearts pound when the telephone rings in the middle of the night. We have resided in the house of fear. We know fear, and it can immobilize us, it can cause us to hole up in our own safe houses, our own gated communities. We can hide behind locked doors, security systems, and we try to avoid “dangerous areas.” Does our fear prevent us from living abundant lives? (Jn. 10.10) Does our fear also prevent us from looking beyond ourselves to those who don’t look like us, who don’t sound like us, who are the “other”? Does our fear prevent us from opening our doors and reaching across the divides of religion, of race, of class, of theological position?

In the midst of this house of fear, Jesus enters and says: “Peace Be With You.” Fear drains from hearts; and thoughts of the past and future are annihilated in the present. The doors open. Looking at the eyes of Jesus, hearing his voice, and seeing his outstretched arms, the disciples see the beauty and calm of the present moment. Jesus enters the house of fear and transforms fear into the radical Joy of the Resurrection!

Rules (BCP)

For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whatever is born of God conquers the world.

It is used so often its almost cliche, but CS Lewis' analogy of the world as a football match (soccer game) is an apt one. I used to be an under-8 soccer referee and believe me, a soccer game without rules is NOT FUN. So too, John writes that the rules of God are not a burden, but in fact a set up for the overcoming of the world.

It is so easy during the Easter season to preach only the triumphalist gospel, but if we give due reverence to the Lectionary we can see that we are to model the sacrifice of Christ. We are to give up those things which may feel good, but take us away from the love of God. Grace is given freely, but faith without works is dead.

High Christology (BCP)

And now, friends, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did also your rulers. In this way God fulfilled what he had foretold through all the prophets, that his Messiah would suffer. - Acts

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name. - John

We spent a lot of time in New Testament and ST-1A (Jesus Christ and Salvation) debating the assertion of the development of a high Christology (view of Jesus) over time. Now I can't say I recall definately who was saying what, nor can I say much about Acts (since we didn't get there), but comparing Acts and John has proven interesting for me.

Acts, and early history of Christianity, is thought to have been written by the same author as the Gospel According to Luke. Both texts were from about 1 generation following the resurrection. John on the other hand is considered to be a much later text (150 or so CE). In comparing the verses above however it seems both hold within them a rather high view of Jesus. Acts alludes to Isaiah and the suffering servant, while John comes straight out and calls Jesus not only the Messiah, but the Son of God.

No story today, just seems like an intersting place to go on the exegetical journey.

BCP- Aslan

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."

I must admit that there is still a large part of me who believes that I will gain some type of spiritual fruit through intention. While I believe with Luther that there is nothing that I can do to earn Grace that Grace does become more evident by actively working toward it. Jesus does not say "Your saved now go about your business" He says, "Follow me." For me actions are important if for nothing else it takes me out of the mindset that I can somehow think my way somewhere. It is good to be back doing something even through the effort.

For a class I am to think about persons who have influenced me. Providing I do not disappear again (again I sometimes forget that intention is not action so while my intention today is not to disappear it will be my feet that will have the final vote) I will be seeking to reflect on persons who have influenced. Aslan has definitely influenced me.

More than that CS Lewis vision has influenced me. I was struck this morning with Jesus "breathing" the holy spirit on them. While I had connected Aslan to Jesus I never connected his breathing with anything. This was a pleasant discovery. More on Lewis later...

go, tell

Jesus Christ is risen today!

What joyful words we have to share. What a great story summed up in Acts. God came to save us from our sin(s). God took on the sin(s) of the world. God was reconciled to himself, and so too we are reconciled through God the Son. I don't have much to say today, just that I can't wait til Easter when I can sing out in my own joyful noise that Jesus Christ is risen today!

Oppression

...how [Jesus] went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. (Acts)

Then the Lord GOD will wipe away the tears from all faces,

and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth... (Isaiah)

"Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here..." (Mark)

The discussions of the past 2 days here on campus really have me wondering, "what is oppression?" The three passages above all seem to give different indications of oppression. Jesus healed those "oppressed by the devil." Isaiah promised that God would wipe away tears and disgrace. The young man in white of Mark tells of Jesus rising from the dead.

As I struggle with white privledge and the original sin of racism I can't help but run across all these different ways of looking at oppression. But each of these definitions is used as a description of what it looks like to end oppression. People are healed, disgrace is wiped away, Jesus is alive.

Here's the point. Oppression only ends with God. With Jesus we are reconciled to God. As such we have the opportunity to be reconciled to one another. For as on Easter we come to know that God cannot be defeated, so too as an Easter poeople we must know that we are no longer slaves to sin, but to Jesus Christ who calls us to love the poor, to embrace persecution, and to be reconciled.

The hard part of course is what this end of oppression and reconciliation looks like. For that I don't have an answer. All I have is a hope that on Easter I will once again be reminded that 1- all things are possible for God and 2- its not about me.

Welcome Happy Morning

So they went out and fled from the tomb, for terror and amazement had seized them;

Isn't this the day we wait for all year long? Sure Christmas is a great holiday both secularly and in the Church, but the feast of the Nativity hardly holds a candle to this day, this happy morning when with terror and amazement we come to realize the empty tomb. After 40 long days of Lent (and 7 more "in" Lent) we have come to the Feast of the Resurrection. We have come to the happiest day of the year for we know that it is through Christ that we are saved. Jesus who died on the cross but 3 days; Jesus who fulfilled so many prophecies; Jesus who was 1 with the Father rose from the dead and defeated death once and for all.

Welcome Happy Morning, age to age shall say!

To God be the Glory (SS)

when Jesus heard it, he said, ‘This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’

I have to admit it, I hate to do it, but I just have to. Seminary has been pretty good to me. I have been blessed by great friendships, great professors, humbling experiences and those which make me proud, and just with the opportunity to know God more/better.

My struggle continues though as I try to tread that thin line between my pride and God's glory. Offering up each day to God's glory and not my own is helpful, and yet still I struggle. Last night on Americal Idol, Mandisa sang a praise song while everyone else sang pop standards from the last 6 years. Then the judges and Ryan all talked about the new religion with 40 million members all worshipping at the altar of Mandisa. She looked mortified. She had stepped out on a rather large career limb by singing this song and claiming her faith in Jesus as Lord and all society could do was give her the glory.

Sometimes I feel that way too. I send my notes out not to show how great I am at taking notes, nor for the praises of my classmates, but merely to share my gift for notetaking with those for whom interpreting Sedgwich speak doens't come easliy. Then my name goes up for Student Body President and it all rushes to my mind, what if people think I do this stuff just to get an elected position, what if my ego is crushed under the presumption of my hubris?

Then I read the passage of Jesus raising Lazarus. Down to his death, Lazarus glorified God. "When Jesus heard it, he said, ‘This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’" If my ego is crushed under the presumption of my own hubris I should be thanking God for the humility that comes from glorifying God only. Thanks be to God for those moments when we come to our knees, when we are at our lowest, and at that exact moment the one God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is glorified.

Encouragement (ss)

What a great set of passages on which Scott will get to preach. We don't spend a whole lot of time talking about the other fortunate folk who have been raised from the dead. This story from 2 Kings is a fabulous one (and deserves the whole pericope if I might add). When the woman sends for Elisha saying, "didn't I tell you not to pray for me, I didn't want to have a child, and now look" it makes my heart ache. As Paul says "the sting of death is sin." In this life we make decisions; we get married, we have children, and all is fine and fun. But these decisions to love come with great heartache. People get sick, people die and sometimes we even wish we (or they) had never been born rather than bear this pain. But G0d turns it all upside down. God tells us our loved one will rise again, and we respond, "I know that he/she will rise again in the resurrection on the last day." And whether or not the conversation goes on, we are confident in that. We celebrate lives, ministries, and relationships knowing the confidence that maybe not today, but someday soon we will see our loved on again, on the other side of the river Styx.

A new twist?- SS

One of the reasons I have slacked (see last post) is that I am working on a sermon for this monday. I thought through it and realized that while not identical to our goal, reflecting on -line on "other" readings would be in the spirit of our activity together. So, providing I don't cause a riot in my small community (Steve, John, and sometimes Peter), I will be reflecting on readings to prepare a sermon for next monday this week. I have listed the readings under the readings page as Special Sermon.

Slacker (ie negligent)

I love the web for being able to cut and paste. The two definitions below basically describe the efforts of spiritual practice this week. I have slacked whose meaning is akin to Negligent.


Main Entry: 1slack Pronunciation: 'slakFunction: adjectiveEtymology: Middle English slak, from Old English sleac; akin to Old High German slah slack, Latin laxus slack, loose, languEre to languish, Greek lagnos lustful and perhaps to Greek lEgein to stop1 : not using due diligence, care, or dispatch : NEGLIGENT2 a : characterized by slowness, sluggishness, or lack of energy b : moderate in some quality; especially : moderately warm c : blowing or flowing at low speed 3 a : not tight or taut b : lacking in usual or normal firmness and steadiness : WEAK 4 : wanting in activity : DULL 5 : lacking in completeness, finish, or perfection synonym see NEGLIGENT- slack·ly adverb- slack·ness noun


Main Entry: neg·li·gent Pronunciation: -j&ntFunction: adjectiveEtymology: Middle English, from Middle French & Latin; Middle French, from Latin neglegent-, neglegens, present participle of neglegere1 : marked by or given to neglect especially habitually or culpably : not taking prudent care2 : marked by a carelessly easy manner- neg·li·gent·ly adverbsynonyms NEGLIGENT, NEGLECTFUL, LAX, SLACK, REMISS mean culpably careless or indicative of such carelessness. NEGLIGENT implies inattention to one's duty or business . NEGLECTFUL adds a more disapproving implication of laziness or deliberate inattention . LAX implies a blameworthy lack of strictness, severity, or precision . SLACK implies want of due or necessary diligence or care . REMISS implies blameworthy carelessness shown in slackness, forgetfulness, or neglect .

My Burnt Offering (BCP)

Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice, *
but you take no delight in burnt-offerings...
The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; *
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise...
Then you will be pleased with the appointed sacrifices,
with burnt-offerings and oblations; *...

I preached a few weeks ago on God's coveant with Noah and found something quite interesting. Between the J and the E texts God makes his covenant with Noah, but across both texts God recalls the sweet smell of Noah's first burnt offering upon dry ground. It got me thinking, as did the Psalm about what my "burnt offerings" are this season of Lent. I guess blogging is one. Maybe getting back to regular chapel attendance will be another. Loving the roommate in spite of her inane nature should be one.

Yet what is my motivation for all of these? Are they offerings in which God takes no delight? Are they from a troubled spirit, a broken and contrite heart? Will God be please with these offerings? I think God will take delight in some of them, so long as their are pure motivations in my heart (read not just to get a big mansion in heaven). Yet, God doesn't need any of these. God has lifted up the once for all offering in Jesus Christ on the cross.

God may or may not delight in my offering, but in Jesus Christ, God will once again open my lips so that I might again proclaim His praise.

A Sinner Redeemed (BCP)

Every high priest chosen from among mortals is put in charge of things pertaining to God on their behalf, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is subject to weakness; and because of this he must offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people.

I'm sure Peter can clear this up for me, but I seem to recall somewhere reading Karl Barth saying preachers are in a unique position of being a Sinner Redeemed talking to a group of redeemed sinners. Studying to be a priest, this sounds good to me. As Paul points to Jesus as the High Priest for all time in the order of Melchizedek (a priest even before Levi) he points also to me. No, I am not Jesus, but I am studying to be a priest. I am getting ready to put on a mantle that is thousands of years old, and for as long as it has been around, fallen, just like those who hold the position.

As I lead my congregation in the Confession, I too ask for forgiveness. As I (God willing) offer absolution, I too feel the power of God fill me. As I (God willing) offering thanksgiving in the Eucharistic Prayer, I too seek to find my strength in Jesus Christ, the high priest forever. In all these things I lead as a sinner redeemed a group of redeemed sinners. Hopefully I do so not presuming the honor, but called by God, just as Aaron was.

Now if I could just work on that part about dealing gently with the ignorant. DANG!

Does Jesus draw ALL people? (BCP)

And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.

Lord Jesus Christ, you stretched out your arms of love on
the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within
the reach of your saving embrace: So clothe us in your Spirit
that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those
who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; for
the honor of your Name. Amen (BCP 101)

Scott emailed me about this collect a couple of days ago. He mentioned that he knew I liked this collect, and I'm not sure if he was being sarcastic or not. It made me think for a while as to whether I do actually like this collect. I think I do.

As I read through the readings today it struck me how apt this collect is (even if it isn't used on 5 Lent). We go from a universalist statement by God in Jeremiah to Jesus drawing all people to himself as he is lifted up from the earth. Its hard to read this as an orthodox Christian in light of Jesus claiming to be "the way and the truth and the life." (Jn 14.6).

But then I come back to this collect. Jesus did bring all to himself on the cross, but there are still those who still do not know. We are charged by God to bring those who don't know what it is they see on the cross to a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. We do this so that God might be glorified as once again this Lent we recall Jesus being lifted up from the earth at once defiled and at the same time glorified. Even Christ the Lord.

Shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life! (BCP)

Create in me a clean heart, O God, *and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence * and take not your holy Spirit from me (NRSV)

We just looked at Psalm 51 in OT2 two weeks ago, much to everyone's displeasure. Psalm 51 is not an easy psalm to handle. Attributed to David following the Oracle of Nathanel (2 Sam 12). What really struck me was how trite "Create in me a clean heart..." has become for me. This really hit home when I read Eugene Peterson's translation

10God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
11Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. (Ps 51 - The Message)

Looking at depth of sin in David's life brought me to my own. Sin so deep that it requires God to take another 6 days to refashion it. Sin and chaos that requires a Genesis week to fix. Yuck. But God doesn't throw me in the trash. God does not fail to breath holiness in me. Sure holiness hurts, but God's love feels so good.

Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a right spirit within me.

I feel we should explain

For those of you who check in from time to time and have noticed our distinct slack off feel this week, yes, yes we are absent. It's mid-term week at The Protestant Episcopal Seminary in Virigina which means lots of work and not much time for "spiritual disciplines."

Seems ironic I know, but hey, nobody said you'd find God at seminary.

And Yet (BCP)

They burned the house of God, broke down the wall of Jerusalem, burned all its palaces with fire, and destroyed all its precious vessels.

What a difficult reading from 2 Chronicles. God was mighty in his righteous indignation. God used outsiders to let his people know he was not happy with their actions, their decisions, their worldview. God went to the point of allowing his own house (the temple in Jerusalem) to be destroyed.

And Yet.

And yet, after 70 years of cooling off, God decided to give it another go. He worked again through outsiders, but was to retrun to his home. He fulfilled his promise to Jeremiah. God does not forget his promises. God does not forget us. No matter what we do, if we have the faith in/of Christ in our hearts and on our lips, by grace we have been saved through faith.

The weight of the quarter sits upon my shoulders. I'm so greatful for the "And Yet." I need God to remember me for by my own works I will surely fail.

BCP- Ephesians

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God-- not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.

Right now as I write I am in class. As a final session this quarter the prof invited three of our African seminarians to speak of their experience in Africa watching the Pentecostal movement and the massive birth of Christians in Africa. One of the Kenyan Seminarians spoke of his Bishop in the Anglican Church who is excited about being a Bishop. The Bishop wanted to get a bike and ride around his province wearing his Miter and wearing a large cross.

The Bishop was excited because he said " I was a nobody and in Christ I became a somebody" The seminarian then when on to say, "that's the point isn't it. We were nobody's but then in Christ we become something"

Powerful...For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God-- not the result of works, so that no one may boast.

BCP- Topsy Turvy

God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-- by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

This will be short as it is exam week. I was struck by the upside down nature of what we perceive and the action of Jesus in the world. I am alive. My writing this is testimony to my actually being alive. I live yet the epistle says that I am dead. I am dead in my trespasses...the implication is that I can not approach the God head by my own power. Jesus is alive and then crucified. He dies and I am baptized into his death. Jesus death removes me from death into life. Alive I am dead. Jesus dies and I enter into his death. By entering into Jesus death I am made alive. Topsy Turvy.

Glad to be back (BCP)

This whole thing (blogging that is) started with a seed. Scott had it in his head that this might be a cool spiritual practice. So he invited some friends, some enemies, some scholars, and some acquantances to join him. We began last lent looking at, among other things, the 10 commandments. And much to my delight we find ourselves back there this week. We won't spend 40 days here as we did last time, but 5 has to be enough.

It feels so strange to be full ciricle on this. God is still call me to obey his commands (especially that sabbath one), and I'm still trying to figure it out. I get it right, and I write about it. I get it wrong, and I write about it. I don't even try, and this I do not write about. Yet God continually calls me back. "Hello, remember me, I'm the jealous God?" God calls me agian and again just as he called the people of Israel again and again.

BCP- Paul Again? Paul Again!

For we know that the law is spiritual; but I am of the flesh, sold into slavery under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh.

Paul opens up a can of spiritual whoop ass in just about every letter. Can you imagine living with him however? I can't I probably would have thrown him out...not that he would have stayed he would dusted his feet long ago and been out on the road bring spiritual gifts. Opinionated? Yes. Man of his times? Yes. Gives persons with a Multi cultural, diversity loving backgrounds heart attacks? Yes. Needs to be wrestled with...most certainly yes.

Paul writes with such conviction and power. At this point in my spiritual life (and later I most likely will see it differently) I see Pauls central conviction that the body will die. Knowing that the physical body will die, Paul theology seems to dwell on it. What I see today is not that he even sees the body as so bad. The body simply will not do for him what Christ crucified will do for him. For that reason the body stands in sin. Pursing the needs of the body is for Paul secondary for pursuing those things which last beyond death ie the spirit. I don't think Paul is a duelist but more of a realist. The body dies so by giving it all the attention (rich foods to eat, money to buy things to build up the body, excercise so that one never gets old, etc, etc, etc) is a losing proposition. It is not so much that the body is bad (I think) but that the body has only one direction...death. If all I have done is emphasize the life of the body in my life I have lived into...death.

The law is spiritual. That suggests that the life of faith is following the law of the spirit. This means placing the spirit above the body...not because it is better but because it will live and to obtain it is to live into it.

Ok I have a class...time to go.

Diversity!!!

This has nothing to do with this weeks texts, but I just have to share the above article with someone. Arpin-Ricci makes commentary that VTS needs to hear.

"Within every culture, God has invested something unique of Himself. I believe that He does this intentionally, so that to truly know Him, we must embrace the uniqueness of all His created peoples."

(BCP) One of these Generations...

... We'll get it right.

"I the LORD your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments."

Hasn't anyone since Moses brought the law down from Sinai gotten this right? To love God and keep his commandments doesn't seem that hard, and yet, we continue to mess up. The Israelites screwed up immediately. We screw up daily. And while we have a hard time accepting that God punishes us for our sins, it seems pretty clear that our discomfort while well founded isn't Biblical. It seems as though we aren't going to get this right, contrary to my title.

But, we have something Moses and the nation of Israel didn't, Jesus Christ who did love God and did keep his commandments. Because of Jesus we are shown God's steadfast love from day-to-day til "the thousandth generation."

Thanks be to God I don't have to do it on my own.

BCP- Yup, chock full o' info

Lent three is full. Preaching would be a pill...not because there is nothing to say but mainly because there is so much. The pill is that the themes are not gentle. No children sitting on Jesus lap. God is active this week. In Exodus there is the first command which dominates the text. There is only one God. In Romans we get (what feels like) Pauls set up. The whole pericope is filled with his failure. The body is sin. The intent of Paul turns into sin. He seems trapped. After highlighting continued failure he seems to peak on one statement. In Christ he is free. In the Gospel we have God active. The temple in the Gospels, like most of my spiritual life, becomes diverted toward lesser goals. Jesus with zeal for his house drives them out. Zeal for his house resonates with the first command.

The message: First things first. God is seeking us to keep first things first. God is a jealous God.

Geez - BCP

Man am I glad I'm not preaching on Lent 3! What a tough batch of lessons! The 10 Commandments, The author of Romans rambling on about the law of sin, and Jesus getting pissed off? Are they serious? Wow.

And yet, as glad I am about not preaching, I'm sort of bummed I'm not preaching. The great things about the Lectionary is it puts us precisely in these positions. I can't in good conscience preach on the collect becuase the Lessons of Lent 3 Year B are hard. The latest post on the emergent-us blog is all about how cool it is to preach within a lectionary. When I read it a week or so ago it didn't mean much, but today, staring into a Sunday that I'd rather skip, I know that Dr. Clendenin is speaking the truth.

I wonder where this week will take me. I wonder if God will open my eyes to the sermon he will construct on my heart. I wonder if in the midst of paper writing and stress I'll be ready for God to call down from the mountain. This is indeed getting good.

16 Candles...for you, my brother!

just a little bohunk for you guys!

BCP- (sort of) "This is getting good"

All my blogging companions know how to post really neat Jesus pictures in their responses. I thought I knew all about blogging but, alas there is more to learn...

I'm a geek. I admit it. One might say "king of the dorks" but I'm not even cool enough to be king. Here I type/blog about the lectionary...Fool for Christ does not do it any justice.

The line that goes through my head after reading the ash Wednesday responses and admiring the Jesus photos is a line that imprinted itself on my psyche in my prepubescent state. Somewhere in my 12 to 14 year old life I must have watched the movie 16 Candles as many times as it was on HBO (which was a lot). I loved it. I thought at the time (and still like it even now) that it was simply the best movie. High culture was not something that I have ever been able to break into. The movie itself was crass, full of toilet humor, drinking teens, and underpants. I can't exactly remember where the line is in the movie but at some point in the movie the "king of the dorks" (Michael Anthony (?)) looks into the camera and announces "This is getting good." as he moves closer to the opportunity to "score" with the opposite sex. Needless to say for a boy of 12 to 14 full of the idiocy of youth and untried talents, any exposure to the opposite sex even via the movies was better than I was doing on my own. The movie for me captured the excitement of potential. Even the dorks score and there is a message of hope hidden there.

Yet I was even attracted to the sappy side of the movie. It was also a movie about holding out for your dreams. It told the story of a girl (who while tolerating the collection of geeks who followed her about) who desperately wanted to believe she was good enough for the "bohunk" who seemed out of her league. It ends of course with the girl getting the bohunk and the King of the dorks riding off in the great car with the blonde bombshell. What is not to like about this movie?

I'm not all that sure where I am going with all this. I barely know how all of this relates to the lectionary. My guess the line of the movie and the memory is tied to my sense of excitement (not the prepubescent kind...the spiritual kind) about being a part of this blog thing. I read two random responses about Ash Wednesday from persons I admire and while on the surface, blogging about scripture out into the websphere ranks pretty low on the "cool" meter, I could not help but get excited about the transformational quality of what we are doing. I could not help but feel that we are doing something important. We are doing something that reveals the spirit. We are, step by step, becoming. I could not help feel just a little that what we are doing here means something beyond the scope of our understanding here and now. So like the prepubescent kid looking out toward the hope and excitement of life of an adult, I look out to the hope and excitement of a life in Christ. The world may view me as a dork but I say,

"This is getting good"

But what about ourselves? - BCP

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I spent Shrove Tuesday with a friend of mine discussing the unfortunate situation the Episcopal Church finds itself in heading toward General Convention 2006. What I realized is two-fold.

1 - Seminary, specifically my experience at VTS has done something I wouldn't have imagined, it has, for some tempered the polemic. As Peter mentioned below he believes he has been transformed. I too feel as though God has used seminary to move me forward. I was once a fundamentalist (or as close as you can get in ECUSA). Today I feel like I'm more of a post-conservative than anything else. But I have been tempered and my mind has been opened.

2 - And more to the point of this post, We have spent a lot of time trying to seperate one another from the love of God. In all the rhetoric and posturing of the past 3 years, it seems to me, that all we have accomplished is seperating ourselves from the love of God. In pointing out the speck in our brother (or sister)'s eye we become sinners, we turn from God. While I cannot cause you to be removed from the love of God, I sure as hell can do it to myself. I vow here to turn back, to face God, and to trust in his faithfulness. For it is through the faith of (in) Christ that we are saved.

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday is one of my favorite days of the Christian Year. I feel that it is a day in which we can actually claim the fact that we all sin, that we all are broken, and that we all fall short of the perfection of God. For me as well, it is a day when the claims made that Christians are "Good" and must be of some sort of Dana Carvey-esque (Saturday Night Live Reference for all you people under 23) "Churchlady" are broken open. It is a day when we can claim that we are sinners, that we have darkness, that we are low at times, when we don't need to be happy, perfect, well-adjusted little campers. It is a day when we can claim the fact that our very lives are dependent upon God's gift to us, that we are flawed creatures that somehow find ways (sometimes) to let God's light shine in the work we do, and in the things we say.

I really loved reading Steve's reflection (below) about Ash Wednesday, and whether we should wear our ashes as a sign of our witness to our God, and to our faith. Or, whether we should wipe off the ashes so that we don't try to trumpet our own piety (or our sorry attempts at it!). I feel like our wills are probably flawed and so I say that whichever makes us most uncomfortable we should probably do. For me, as a recovering knee-jerk theological liberal it is probably good for me to smear some ashes on my head every day (of Lent, and beyond) and to wear a big old cross....for others who might desire to show their piety, and for whom witness and mission come easily, perhaps for them wiping it off will work best.

But, what do I know really? Nada.

Ash Wednesday - BCP

"Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels."

The Anlgican News Service put out a press release written by the Rector of a big church in Manhattan called "Why all the Ashes?" In it he ponders whether he should have a washing station at the back to the church to wipe the ashes of parishoners foreheads before they return to work. In doing so he is attempting to live out the Gospel lesson for Ash Wednesday which calls us to live our fait without being showy.

On the flip side, in the Gospel for Lent 2, Jesus is very straight forward with Peter and the rest. Do not be ashamed. Wear the ashes on your forehead not for your own glory but for the Fathers. Deny yourself and pick up your cross so that God might be glorified in all you do. Being a "good" Anglican I appreciate the tension Jesus sets up here. Living faith without being showy vs. living faith to bring about conversion and transformation. Tough stuff.

BCP- What was Abraham thinking?

"The fire and the wood are here, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?" Abraham said, "God himself will provide the lamb for a burnt offering, my son." So the two of them walked on together.

Reading this caused me to understand a little bit Kierkegaards dilemma when reading of Abraham. What was he thinking here? Was he telling Isaac that God will provide a lamb meaning that Isaac was that lamb or was he holding out in hope that God would provide a lamb in exchange of Isaac?

And what was Isaac thinking here? You can almost see him put two and two together. It is kind of like him going "Hey Dad there is no lamb here? I don't really like where this is going."

My hope is that Abraham lived into the hope trusting in God's providence. One image that just popped into my head is that the Passion is part two of the drama that ends with Abraham's upraised knife.

Who is to condemn? (BCP)

"It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn?"

I am condemned. I am convicted. I admit it. I have said the words, in fact you can read the words here.

(You'll note I may have been in this place before as well)

I have said of other faithful folk that I'm not sure they are Christians. And I stand here today convicted by the words of Paul, those same words I used in the past to assert my own orthodoxy over and above another's. It is God who justifies. Jesus Christ "stretched out [his] arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of [his] saving embrace." (BCP 101).

I'm sitting in this deep mire of a changing theological understanding. I have nothing. I don't own truth. God justifies. God holds Truth. My sinful eyes are as blind as the sinner next to me. It is not wishy/washy for me to ascribe to the motto etched on the front of our library, "Seek the truth, come whence it may, cost what it will."

Yet I know there still exists Truth. Through the conviction of God's holy Scripture today I feel like I've seen a bit of that truth. Will you someday over lunch, or on this blog site, point to your bit of truth so that I might continue to grow in faith and believing? I hope you will.

BCP- Paul was not kidding around

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Paul was a player. Not player like high school kids these days understand Player but player in that he lived the walk. Paul was convicted. It is funny, there is a sense where I wonder if modern folks live as convicted. I heard recently that the only type of conviction some modern church goers believe in is the type that occur through courts of law.

Paul was a player. He believed. He set out. He was taunted, arrested, beaten, scorned, starved, and almost drowned convinced of the gospel. And I wonder what came first, the conviction which led to his great travels or the travels based on a smaller conviction which grew into the conviction that is revealed here. He states that "I am convinced". Now it is obvious that as a Pharisee he was not convinced in Christ. One can even posit the idea that he becomes convinced through his conversion. His conversion would lead to a stronger state of conviction. But how much of his conviction as he expresses in the Epistle, grows out of his experience of living a Christian life and trusting that God would provide. I would guess that Paul was not as convinced when he first came to the faith as he was at his death.

Conviction I believe grows. I believe we are led to conviction.

Still Not Ready

As I read through all the readings for Lent 1 I'm realizing something; I'm not ready for Lent to come. With this quarter came a new class schedule, a new worship schedule, a new work schedule for my wife, a new lunch routine, and a lot of new stress. I'm still trying to see the light of Christ that is the Season after Epiphany and now I'm about to be asked to dive into Lent, into penatence. I've mentioned a few times that I'm not ready for God to speak to me, and this day is no exception. While the readings for Lent 1 are all extremely joyful, it still means I'm about to look at myself very closely and I've got enough to do.

I'm up to my neck in the water and the liturgical year is about to add some more to the pool. I guess I'll just look for that rainbow.

Oh Crap! (BCP)

A voice came from heaven, "You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased." And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness.

Some of you have heard this story before, so you will have to forgive me for over using it. It was February of 2002 and I was at the Jubilee Conference, sitting in a break-out group for Christian college students studying business. The guy is making some good points (all of which I don't remember - I was preparing to propose to Cassie in mere hours) and then he asks us to find a partner. I sit down with somebody and the leader asks us to think silently for 2 minutes about a question before discussion with our partner.

A voice came from heaven, "Why are you studying business? Is it to further God's kingdom in some way, or to get money and buy stuff?"

And the Spirit immediately drove me out into the wilderness. The only thing I can remember running through my head at that time was "Oh Crap!" You see for 22 years "get money and buy stuff" had been an acceptable answer. Even though I was a Christian, I had at the core of me materialism and the goal of crushing fingers on the corporate ladder. I spent the next two hours sitting on a cold bench near Pittsburgh's Point Park trying to make sense of it all.

Jesus has been there. Mark tells of Jesus hearing the words of God (maybe for the first time - see Dogma), and immediately being driven into the wilderness. Jesus knows the confusion that comes from hearing the voice of God. Jesus knows the temptations that come when the opportunity to run away is out there. Jesus has been there before and Jesus made it through. Jesus through his Holy Spirit helped me make it through that time of great anxiety.

BCP- Christ as the Ark

I am smitten with the image in 1st Peter. It is simply a stunning image. The very act of Christ's death and resurrection which becomes the very ark which transports us. We like Noah get the opportunity to get on board. Our baptism not as something that cleanses us but more like our passage ticket. This is so much better than two coins on our eyes for the ferryman at the river Styx...this is the invitation to enter into the kingdom now!

ET Phone Home (BCP)

This weekend Cassie and I were among the volunteer leaders for the youth ministry ski trip at my field education site. We had a blast skiing, snowtubing, and hanging out with the kids. On Saturday night we watched that deep theological classic, ET: Extra Terrestrial through the haze of a fireplace that didn't draw up the chimney well. Between the burning in our eyes and the haze of smoke we were all reminded of that film which gave Stephen Spielberg his big break. On Sunday, we reflected on that deep theological classic, and really had our eyes opened to the latent Judeo-Christian themes running through it. Our final question delt with the final scene as ET's ship takes off and flies away. Do you remember what is seen in the ships trail? A rainbow. We talked at length about what rainbows mean in the Bible. We even argued about who the rainbow served as a reminder to. Does God really need a reminder of his covenant with Noah? I really don't have much to ponder on theologically here, but I just realized that the OT reading for Lent1 includes that passage from Genesis. Maybe for the first time in my life I'll preach on the Old Testament on March 5. For as eight were saved by water in the days of Noah, so too are we saved through death and rebirth in the waters of baptism.

just checking in

ski trip!!!!
packing!!!!!
Ahhhh!!!
Where are my gloves!!!!!

I hope I find some silence to find God

Six Days later?

So, I checked, and Jesus has just gotten done rebuking Peter at Ceseara Philipi (yeah, I know the spelling is not perfect). Jesus has just taught about his future suffering, and that all must give there life in order to earn it. And "Six Days Later" (NRSV) is the next detail. Then he is transfigured before a few choice witnesses.
Is Mark reflecting back on creation? Is this the final day of the creation retold as the final day of Jesus taking on the mantle of sacrifice? Mark's central motion of earthly ministry leading to the revelation of Jesus's true calling to the cross takes the full six days to become complete. And in the completeness of this new (well, newly revealed) calling, Jesus is transfigured, made clean for his purpose. These are big images that need more working out, but I think it is workable.
I know, where do you get the message for the people out of this. But I just wanted to think about why in the sparcely writting gospel of Mark (It is the shortest) we are given this interesting detail. More OT connections to dwell on as we bring the transfiguration story to the people.

Never Ready for God - BCP

I have realized for the first time today that Mark’s account of the Transfiguration has no mention as to why Jesus took Peter, James, and John with him up the mountain. Two weeks ago we read about the first time Peter, James, and John (along with Andrew) went about their business together. The three guys must have known as they began their climb up the Mount of the Transfiguration that something was about to happen. Jesus climbed mountains to be alone with the Father. Jesus climbed a mountain alone to offer himself as a once-for-all sacrifice. Here Jesus climbs a mountain with his inner group. Jesus, as far as we know, gives them no indication as to why they are heading up the mountain. Peter, James, and John as now seasoned followers of Jesus know something is going to happen, but even they, even at this stage of their ministry together, cannot know the God himself will speak to them on this day.

I'm about to present "The Hope that is in me" in homiletics (preaching class). I'm focusing on the hope that by grace I can follow the will of God. Even now, even after nearly a decade of searching for God's will, I am no more ready when God speaks to me directly. When God revels himself with his 2x4 in hand I never expect it. I, like Peter, James and John am left to respond with awe and with words that in no way reflect the event which has just happened. Fortunately for me, and for them, we have time. God allows us, through the Holy Spirit the time and space to discern what it is he says. My gut reaction will eventually be replaced by a better understanding of God's will, just as it was for Peter, James, and John.

BCP- God in wine rows and on mountain tops

I heard a speaker a few years back. He was relating a tough time in his life and he began to question if this "god thing" had any merit. It wasn't bleak but it was time of question when one wonders if faith is simply a mental construct- a way to deal with the complexity of living a life that leads to death. The man had been driving in California and at the peak of his distress he was driving through wine country. As he recounted he was looking out the window watching the apparent randomness of the vines out his window. From his perspective the plants seemed random.

He then recounted that as he drove he glanced again at the vines and instead of seeing a jumbled bush he saw instead the depth of a long row of plants. He saw deep into the field a manicured row that showed order, maintenance, and intention. In the next instance that vision disappeared. He recounted having been given an image of God. A moment of clarity when like the disciples receive on the mountain top, the true nature of the creation become blindingly apparent and then as quick as it comes, it disappears from view.

Where is God? (BCP)

A question that I've asked myself a lot since coming to seminary. Is God in the chapel? Not often!
Is God in the classroom? Occasionally.
Is God in the refectory? NO!
Where is God?

If I were Elijah I'd be smart enough to know that God is not in the loud noises of the chapel, the earthshattering revelations of the classroom, or the firey heartburn of the refectory. God is in the silence. God is in the library as person after person comes to a deeper knowledge of him. God is in my walk to Aspinwall as I'm reminding of the A&M flag flying after Adam's death. God is in the artifical silence of our Morning Prayer service as I long that he might send his Son back to earth. God is here at seminary, just not where I expect him to be.

BCP- sheer silence

Silence

In both the OT reading and the Gospel silence is given weight. The OT states and in the Gospel it has to be imagined. Each has the incredible tense moment of quest, question, silence, and then revelation. With Elijah he finds God in the silence. For the disciples there is blinding white robes, the prophets which lead into God's proclamation.

Silence

BCP - Keep it like a Secret...

"As they were coming down the mountain, he ordered them to tell no one about what they had seen, until after the Son of Man had risen from the dead."

Two weeks ago we read all about the leper who couldn't keep his mouth shut. Jesus told him sternly to say nothing, go wash, and show the Priests. The leper did not obey.

Cf. Mark's version of the Transfiguration. Mark is all about the secret. Jesus is again ordering (telling sternly) those who have seen great things, to keep it quiet. This time, it seems, Peter, James, and John obey the command (good for them since God himself said, "listen to him!"). But even for Mark, who loves this Messianic Secret, there is a time and a place to share to amazing works of Jesus Christ. Wait until after the Son of Man has risen from the dead, Jesus commands them. As if seeing Moses and Elijah chilling with Jesus on a mountain weren't enough. As if hearing the voice of God come from the clouds wasn't enough. Jesus caps off this event by again setting forth the premise of his resurrection.

Go build those tents Peter, cuz this is just the tip of the iceberg. Over the 2nd half of Jesus ministry things are going to get even wierder. You are going to leave the Jesus you saw Transfigured to die on a cross. You are going to see him risen from the dead (Mat 28). You are going to see him ascend into heaven (Luk 24). You are going to be the Rock upon which the Body of Christ remains incarnate on earth (Mat 16). But until you see the Son of Man risen from the dead, please keep what you have seen quiet.

Peter, the do-gooder that he is, keeps the secret. It is not until after Jesus is risen that the story of the Transfiguration makes into Mark or the 2nd letter of Peter. Peter knows the power of Jesus of Nazareth. Peter knows that he is the Messiah. Peter knows, but Peter listens and obeys. Today I know. I may not have experienced the jaw-dropping events that Peter has, but I've experienced the power of God in Jesus Christ. Now I must be willing to listen and obey. Now that the Son of Man has risen, I must be willing to shout it out "like a lamp shining in a dark place." For Jesus Christ is the Star of the Morning. He has fulfilled that which was begun in people like Moses and Elijah. No go, tell it out!

BCP- Mark 9:2-9

"Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah." He did not know what to say, for they were terrified. Then a cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud there came a voice, "This is my Son, the Beloved; listen to him!"

The Lectionary this week is full of incredible images. It was hard to pass up the Elijah image and the silence. The above has me thinking about how I might preach this next week. There are some odd events in the transfiguration (beyond the transfiguration itself.) that will be interesting to follow. The first is the the statement by Peter. Here he is terrified out of his wits. Is the text suggesting the dictum "The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the lord" Fear being closer to Awe rather than terror. Awe being the combination of fear and reverence.

The second is that Peter has been brought here by Jesus and now he's hanging out not just with Jesus but Moses and Elijah. Certainly this is not something that happens every day. So what does Peter say to deal with the event but suggest to make three dwellings. My guess this would be tents and tents may lead us back to Moses and the tabernacle. The tabernacle is the tent of the covenant which contains the law (commandments). The tabernacle could only be entered by the high priest and there within is the Arc of the Covenant which is the very seat of God.

So here we have an interesting image. Is it suggesting that in this image of prophets and Jesus under tents reveals the holy seat of God? Jesus as the Arc of the Covenant and the new law? It fits theologically and would follow the understanding that the new covenant lies not in a place (temple of Jerusalem) but in Jesus. It takes place on a mountain (where Moses receives the law ie Sinai) and happens quietly (Elijah and God in the silence)

The third funky image is the repetition of the words used in Jesus' baptism. God comes in a cloud (again Moses and the leading of the Israelites from slavery to freedom) and speaks (as God speaks He creates- Genesis) that Jesus "Is my son, the beloved. Listen to him." So like Jesus being sent into the desert to be tested after his baptism, he is now sent into Jerusalem to be tried, convicted, killed, and resurrected.

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