Persistence in the Journey of Faith

Genesis 18: 20 - 33 (excerpt below)
32 Then he said, "Oh do not let the Lord be angry if I speak just once more. Suppose ten are found there." He answered, "For the sake of ten I will not destroy it." 33 And the LORD went his way, when he had finished speaking to Abraham; and Abraham returned to his place.


GOSPEL: Luke 11:1- 13 (excerpt below)
9 "So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 11 Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish? 12 Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion? 13 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

__________________________________________________________________________________

There is a clear connection between the Old Testament lesson from Genesis and the Gospel reading in this coming Sunday's lectionary ... persistence in the Journey of Faith.

First, in Genesis 18, Abraham shows great compassion for the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, and because of this compassion, Abraham works to haggle with God about how many sinless men need to be there to have God spare the rest of the people. I preached on this two years ago, and one of the parishioners said that for many years he has tried to find some Biblical basis for his chosen profession, that of a lobbyist; in this lesson, he heard Abraham as the lobbyist (or even the defense attorney) for the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham is persistent, and keeps haggling and bargaining with God, seemingly (almost) to show greater compassion (at first) than God is showing. In the text, at least, we see God respond to Abraham's pleas, and we see some of the depth of the relationship that exists between God and Abraham. Abraham is known for obeying God, for having faith in God, AND here we see that that obedience and faithfulness includes the quality of reasoning, the quality of persistence, and includes even haggling and communication.

In the Gospel, we hear the assurance from Jesus that the we are told to ask for what we need, to search for the answers, and that doors will be opened to us when we ask, and that the way will be set out for us when we turn to God, 9 "So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

Can we imagine having a deep enough faith in God, and deep enough trust in God's faithfulness, that we would turn to God with all our haggling, with all our concerns, with all our compassion, and all our persistence? Can we imagine that the doors really will be opened to us if we have the courage and the persistence to ask? I know that sometimes I imagine that my prayers and practices need to be sanitized for God, but as I turn to this text I am reminded that God is bigger than all of it and that God can even take my deepest, most relentless concern and compassion when I turn to God. And, when my faith is strong I believe Jesus when he assures us that "everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."

May I (and we) have the courage to haggle, to search, and to knock on the door! (and believe that God will respond!)

Thomas a' Kempis (a day late)

For yesterday's feast:

"Many live under obedience, rather for necessity than for love; such are discontented, and do easily suffer. Neither can they attain to freedom of mind, unless they willingly and heartily put themselves under obedience for the love of God."

From The Imitation of Christ (Chicago: Moody Press, 1980): 37.

Further reading:

• Devotio Moderna
• Brethren of the Common Life
• Thomas Hammerken
  

the history of naval gazing

"See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the universe, and not according to Christ." (Col 2.8)

Sometimes I forget that well intentioned naval gazing isn't a new phenomenon. I haven't studied philosophy so I often lose sight of the fact that the history of it goes back to before Christ was born. I guess the Greeks and the Romans were probably some of the worst offenders of empty deceit in all of human history. So while I feel awfully sorry for St. Paul, I take some solace in his call to the Colossians to put aside the pride that goes with heady, philosophical conversation.

Modernity, too, had its fair share of "human tradition". With its love of science and the arrogance that comes from "progressive truth finding", humanity spent most of our post-enlightenment history captive to our own understanding. I'm recalling my own being held captive during a three-hour naval gazing conversation about one chapter of Barth's Homiletics at my favorite modernist institution, Virginia Theological Seminary.

And, I'm sorry to say, our captivity continues. As much as I love my time spent in emerging/Emergent conversations, it too has the capacity to fall into its own empty deceit. As Bishop Baxter says, "when we look to anything other that Jesus to save us, we're in trouble." Even this blog, with its often heady study of scripture, can, at times, be accused of not being focused on Christ alone. I know it. It is impossible to avoid really. Heck, even St. Paul was dealing with it in one of his missions.

So today is a conviction day for me. It is a call to prayer (see Genesis and Luke). Heady exploration of scripture and theology, done in the context of prayer, will seek Christ alone. Done any other way, will, more often than not, results in the puffing up of my own ego.

i found something new

Well at least it is new to me. And that may not even be true, it may be something I noticed before and forgot, but it is new to me today. I've read the passage from Luke 11 on prayer dozens of times in my life. I've heard it preached on. I was part of a Lenten series on the Lord's Prayer. I thought I had some idea what was going on in this passage. Then today, as I read it again I noticed something very peculiar, something that I had not noticed before.

The passage for the Lectionary ends with verse 13 (I don't have verse #s but it is something like), "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

"How much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"!!!!!

Have you ever noticed that before? When I think of this passage in my mind I hear it as "How much more will the heavenly Father give to those who ask him!" But that isn't what Jesus is promising here. Jesus isn't promising that the Prayer of Jabez will bring you riches. He isn't promising that every time we pray for healing it'll happen. He isn't promising victory for the side that prays more. Nope, he is promising the Holy Spirit to anyone who asks. He is promising the overflowing of the Spirit to those who ask again and again.

In light of the examples; bread, fish, eggs, it seems like Jesus is calling us to ask for that which gives us life. Immediately then, he tells us what to ask for. Not for 2 747s for your ministry. Not for a million dollars. Not for a brilliant idea. Nope, ask for that which give life, the Holy Spirit. Ask again and again. God will give you so much of the Spirit that you'll overflow. I'm glad for this realization. It makes my prayer life easier. "Give me the good stuff God, fill me up with your Holy Spirit!" That I can pray with confidence.

From Thanksgiving to Thanksgiving

With a stop at utter despair in between. My post on Friday was an upbeat one. It was really one of my better posts, I think. Not rambling as I am want to do. Not sullen as my mindset often is. Really good theology, I think, oh and use of the BCP, a 5 for sure from the GOE readers.

And then I got a phone call. It was SHW calling to let me know that because she was "unemployed" she was disqualified from being licensed by credentials in the great state of Alabama. Mild panic and great annoyance set in immediately. The tone of thanksgiving that had flowed so easily to God just hours before was now gone in a flash of bitterness and frustration as I tried to figure out what we would do now.

It is amazing how quickly our prayers can change. I guess it really more amazing how quickly life can change. From being excited and humbled by being a part of God's plan to being really pis*ed of at God for not making it as easy as I think it should be in about 3 seconds. Prayers go from adoration and thanksgiving to rants of anger and frustration. God can take both, another reason for thanksgiving I suppose.

Anyway, when she finally couldn't take it anymore, SHW called her old boss. Before her story was over, he said, "what do you mean you are unemployed?" Her 6 week unpaid leave will come to a close here soon, and she'll be commuting to DC for a part-time job, but I'll be darned if she doesn't still have a job. And BAM! We're back to thanksgiving, humility, and awe at the power of God, at the way he works through people and relationships to bring his will to fruition on earth as in heaven.

Whether it is the small stuff like being thankful for rain, or the big stuff like the reign of God prayer works. Offering thanksgiving to God never goes unnoticed. Asking with persistence for the in breaking of the Kingdom of God will bring it about. So from Thanksgiving to despair to Thanksgiving, I'm back, looking at the good gifts, standing in awe of the Lord.

"I will listen to what the LORD God is saying, *for he is speaking peace to his faithful people and to those who turn their hearts to him."- from the psalm

"See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the universe, and not according to Christ." From Colossians

"So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." from Luke

I am probably repeating my self from yesterday with these elements of the reading. They have captured me. The one that leaps off the page is the one from Colossians...the warning to not be taken in by philosophy or human traditions. This grabs me because in my experience it was so easy to be lifted high by ideology or intellect but to be left starving as a Christian. I think we must be wary of our own intellect...not because it is bad but, combine it with ego and all of a sudden we are looking down the well for God and seeing ourselves. It is easy to do. Because it is easy to do I must check even my own (by my mind -brilliant) observations through others. Those others, as Chesterton notes, should include the "democracy of the dead." I must check my convictions through the thoughts and observations that emerge in scripture and the writings of my brethren.

Of course none of this has anything to do with prayer, except for the fact that if I am not a developed 'prayer' then I must at least acknowledge the dependency upon prayer that both Jesus demonstrates and the people of prayer who passed on this "Christian" thing to me. I must acknowledge that my whole being, my whole existence as a man "of the cloth" so to speak, has been enriched by prayer. From the prayers of my Grandmother praying that I would not turn out to be to big an idiot during my teen years to the prayers of Thomas Merton whose prayers turned him to Christ which then led him to write. Churches have prayed for me. My family has prayed for me. Individuals have prayed for me. I can not assume that just because I have intellectual ideas that may or may not lead me into a life of prayer that my ideas are correct. I am more the recipient of this life as a result of prayer than my convictions about it. I must as Jesus so evidences, find time not to contemplate whether or not I should pray but PRAY. As last weeks Gospel so put it "Do this and live."

I pray that my humble thoughts on prayer or the collection of readings from this weeks leads not to an acceptable sermon about prayer but a life a prayer. Lord, you are the cause of deep currents. Give me courage to swim where you lead.

the giver of all good gifts

to Him be thanks and praise. I am struck this morning as I read the Gospel for the 29th by what Jesus says about God as he talks about prayer.

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

It is so often the case that I forget how great God is. I rarely realize the extent to which God has poured out his blessings upon me. When it rains, I grumble. When it is hot, I complain. When things go well, I congratulate myself. When things don't go so well, I blame, well usually I blame someone else. I forget to thank God for all these things. I forget that nothing is to wondrous for the Lord, and I assume I've got it all under control. I'm convicted today to thank God. I'm reminded today of Charlie Price's masterpiece in the 79 BCP.

Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise for all that you have
done for us. We thank you for the splendor of the whole
creation, for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life,
and for the mystery of love.

We thank you for the blessing of family and friends, and for
the loving care which surrounds us on every side.

We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best
efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy
and delight us.

We thank you also for those disappointments and failures
that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.

Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the
truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast
obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying,
through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life
again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.

Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and
make him known; and through him, at all times and in all
places, may give thanks to you in all things. Amen.


I'm glad to have this prayer today. I'm glad Scott moved me on to the readings for next week. I'm thankful for all the gifts given to me by Him through whom all things were made. Thanks be to God!

A New Kind of Canticle

“Alleluia!”

I heard it, stopped, and turned around.

Damned if it wasn’t the amaryllis,
Lined up in the window box,
Their red-striped throats open,

Praising the Lord.

(by Margaret Minis; I found this while perusing an EFM brochure, and it reminded me of something Will Campbell would write)

Distractions Redeemed

In thinking yet again about the Mary and Martha story as it relates to my own constant state of distraction and worry I was reminded of a prayer. This prayer comes from the book , Women's Uncommon Prayers: our lives revealed, nurtured, celebrated, an odd place for a 27 year-old post-conservative to pull from, but a good book none-the-less. The prayer I recalled was written by the Rev. Mary Anne Akin and is entitled "Sunday Night Tub Cleaning". It reminds me a lot of the option Martha chose not to choose, finding God in the distractions, seeking God in the mundane.

This post is sort of worthless, I am realizing, due to a very stern copyright notice on the first page of Women's Uncommon Prayers. I can't copy it here for you to read, but point you to Google Book Search where you can search for "Sunday Night Tub Cleaning" and find it quite easily.


Anyway, I just felt that a series of posts on distractions and worry wouldn't be finished without noting that God is in the small stuff. God shows up slumped over the bathtub in the same way, and often with more power and might, than on a Sunday morning in a stuffy church service. To live as Monday through Saturday followers of Christ rather than just as Sunday church-goers is to seek God in the grime of the bathtub, the frustration of the traffic light, or the silence of an empty house.

Persistence

"When I called, you answered me; *you increased my strength within me." from the psalm

"Mercy and truth have met together; *righteousness and peace have kissed each other. " from the psalm

"See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the universe, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have come to fullness in him, who is the head of every ruler and authority. " from Colossians

"I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, at least because of his persistence he will get up and give him whatever he needs." from the Gospel of Luke

These are just a couple of things which grabbed my attention. What is central to me is this idea of persistence in prayer (a topic I am not all that well versed). My first sermon at Church of the Good Shepherd and I draw one of the big ones of the faith: Jesus on prayer. I once read a smattering from an over the top evangelist and he noted that Jesus does not teach us much about anything but prayer. Jesus calls us to prayer. Jesus receives us in prayer. What rings true at the moment is that line from the psalm. "When I called, you answered me, you increased my strength within me" Prayer is our call God calls. We discover that our strength is increased. We become able to bear what we have in front of us.

Yet I am also struck how prayer often is not our first response whether it is individually or corporately. What does a praying church look like? We are often very good at hospitality. We are often very good at thinking about the dispossessed. But are we praying for the strength to meet the needs of those who come amongst us or are we simply utilizing our own strength? Maybe we don't trust that prayer is where we should begin? Maybe we have not been taught? Maybe we think we think we are only speaking to ourselves? Yet today's gospel suggests something different. Jesus uses a story of the day to suggest that God likes to be asked. He is not maybe the cosmic Santa clause issuing out gifts left and right on a whim. He is more like the friend tucked in at night a little annoyed at being woken by the friends plea.

and Jesus does not simply say pray. Jesus says that we are to be persistent in our prayers. We are to bang at the door and nock! We need those three loaves of bread for our guest. We can not simply walk away at the first sign of resistance. God's quietude may not be the answer no but God's way of drawing us into dependence on him. He does seek to bless us yet do we seek the blessing. Jacob wrestles all night to get his. Do we? Dare I say, do I?

farewell for now

To my friends at The Lectionary... Go!

I am taking this time to let you know that I will no longer be posting here. Having copied and pasted my posts all over the blog-o-sphere for the last few months in the hopes that others might join back in, it has become clear that we all need a break. I will continue to reflect on the scripture at my personal blog spankeysblog.blogspot.com and hope to re-join the community at The Lectionary... Go! when we all have a little more time.

Blessings,
Steve

Xianity is the only major religion...

With a living leader/founder/guru/god. Have you heard this apologetic argument? I have heard it often, and, not needing much in the way of apologetics myself anymore, find it interesting, but by no means a key selling point. Then again, I'm 2000 years removed from the whole thing and don't know Jesus as a living breathing man here on earth. I do know him, and the whole of the Trinity, as alive and well in my reading of Scripture, in my prayer, and in my life.

What I do find interesting about the whole ascension thing is a funny turn of phrase by Jesus as he prepares his followers for a second departure. "Now I am going to him who sent me; yet none of you asks me, `Where are you going?' But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your hearts."

These folks were sad. Of course they were. From the pit of despair on Good Friday and Holy Saturday, they were made alive again in Christ's coming to life again on Easter Sunday. Things were back to where they were supposed to be. Jesus was showing up on occasion, giving them advice and kind words, and they were once again energized by his message of repentance, redemption, and salvation. Little did they know that in a mere 40 more days he'd be on his way out of their lives (physically speaking) again. They must have thought that surely this time Jesus would lead them in a revolution. He had to succumb to the powers that be, but he came back to show them who was in charge. It makes perfect sense; a lot more sense than a 40 day encore only to leave them seemingly empty handed again. Sorrow filled their hearts because of what they thought it meant for them that he was again leaving. No one bothered to ask what they should do if/when he left again; he WAS NOT going to leave them again, damn it.

In the end, he had to leave them. They were as ready as they could be to take on this follower of Jesus thing on their own. He'd send help, no doubt, but they had to do this strange thing on their own for a while. Those brain trusts who made up the lectionary don't give us the disciples reaction, but I'll tell you, they don't get it. They still think he's going to do something more here on earth. But as Jesus will soon tell them, "Very truly, I tell you, you will weep and mourn, but the world will rejoice; you will have pain, but your pain will turn into joy."

I think it may be true that Christianity is the only major religion with a living, breathing leader/founder/guru/god, but what's more exciting is that this living, breathing guy knew when it was time to get out of the way and let his followers do the work, live the life, stumble, be redeemed, and ultimately turn all their pain into joy.

back at it

I know its been a while. It has, in fact, been too long. For that I am sorry. Not so much sorry to you, the reader, but sorry to me, the writer, for having fallen out of habit and fallen out of this intentional time in prayer and word. However, I have to note that this time has been different. Its not like things have been perfect and I've fallen into the old pattern of relying on myself and forgetting about God and all of His blessings. No, this time it is different. This time, I've still been keenly aware of God; even spending time in prayer (unlike it was so often in the olden days). This time I've just fallen out of this practice. Still, I'm sorry to have fallen away. I have missed the intentional nature of it. I have missed the time in the Word. I have really, really missed it.

So it is good to be back. It is great to be back. And what better week to return to a practice of spending time meeting God in the Word by the power of the Spirit than Trinity Sunday. This practice is a microcosm of a life lived in Trinitarian belief. One practice, three ends. One God, three persons.

In the lesson from John we see the Word of God incarnate in Jesus preparing to leave again. Jesus is about to return to the right hand of God the Father; to be fully reunited in the Trinity. Instead of leaving his followers to their own devices, Jesus, with the promise of God the Father, will send an Advocate, God the Holy Spirit to keep them company, to guide them in the will of the Father, to keep them in touch with the perfect will of the one God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I love this passage. It is a perfect image of this weird and wacky faith we have. This Trinitarian thing is strange, but it is beautiful. It makes no sense, but it is perfect. The only way I can even try to believe this thing is to read the Word with the aid of the Advocate to discern the will and understanding of the Father. It is brought to light here in John 16 better than any theologian could attempt.

I am once again reminded of the benefits of this practice. I am happy to be back to this place where theology is made perfect; not by my words (hell no), but in the Word, with the Advocate, and the Father.

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter
was very sick with a fever.

She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication.

She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.
She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what
had happened.

The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You
might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been
left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked
their keys in their car.

She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this"

She bowed her head and asked God to send her help. Within five minutes a
beat up old motorcycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was
wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?"

But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.

She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some
medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please,
can you use this hanger to unlock my car?

He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the
car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears

she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today.
I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud,

"Oh, Thank you God!

You've sent me a Professional!"

God sent a professional. There are a lot of messages here in this little story. We have prayer. We have a story about God meeting needs. We have the very practical instruction that one should not lock their keys in the car. For the cynics there is the underlying difficulty in accepting that there just happened to be a coat hanger in the parking lot. In fact there might be many more interpretations out there. We all do not hear the same thing. A humerous joke about what we hear and how it can be so different from others is the following.

A doctor decided to give a talk about the effect of alcohol on the digestive system. To demonstrate he took out some 100 proof vodka and a common garden worm. He placed the worm in the vodka and the worm quickly disolved. The doctor asked the audience. "Now what does that teach you?" A medical student in the front got up and began explaining how alchohol eats away at the intestines. A drunk in the back of the room gets up and interupts the medical student..."no, no, no (hic) thats not it. What that demonstrates doctor is that if you drink enough good alcohol you won't get worms"

We all do not perceive the same thing. There is more to the story. Through the eyes of faith things are not always what they appear. In Christ our greatest sins can become strength...foolishness can become wisdom.

So the emphasis I would like to focus on this morning is the Professional... the biker. In this story he is like the the fearsome angels of the Bible who bring deliverence. In this simple story the mans greatest defect and sin is transformed and becomes grace. In this simple story he is the definition of a saint. He brings his whole being to the task. The mother perceives correctly. It is not only the man who acts in this story but God. In his honest transparency so much more can be seen. What is brought to light becomes light.

A few weeks back I had a thought.

Yes, I know some of you may find that statement miraculous but it is true. It was during one of the services that sunlight was playing outside of the stained glass windows. As the light intensified the glass intensified. The figures became more full. While each figure in the stained glass became brighter their individual shapes and features became more distinct. They became in that moment, as the son backlit the stained glass, quite literally, agents of the light. The light did not destroy or overpower who and what they were. Yet it was evident. Something other than just the glass could be percieved. It is the transparency of the glass that better allows for the sun to be seen. It takes perception to acknowledge that the glass is not acting alone. For without light nothing could be seen.

In the book of Ephesians there is a line that is quite simply, devestating. It is in its implication one of the most profound beautys of the bible. It suggests that there is absolutely nothing that we can do that can stand in the way of God's Grace. It suggests that reconciliation is possible. It supports the understanding that Christ was crucified to attone the sins of all. It can even lead us to understand that as agents of God's Creation we can play a part in God's redemption. As Church we are a unique community established by God to do just that.

In Ephesians 5 it says, "For once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Live as children of light- for in the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true. Try to find out what is pleasing to the lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them...but everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that becomes visible is light"

The darkness exposed to light becomes light! Darkness can not overcome light. The light does not simply expose but transform.

But if the windows teach us anything, we are not to become something other than we are but allow God to transform all that we are to good.

Are there parts of you you would rather not think about? Have there been situations where you have hurt others? Are there areas in your life you need to bring to God? This is not about works but remaining open to transformation. For Ephesians suggests that all is open to transformation. Our greatest sins, our biggest difficulties, the infidelities and wacked out schemes and plans can all become light if exposed to the light. Our deeds which used to keep us in fear if found out, can be transformed by Christ to become our assets. Our bondage can become our liberation.

And I think that is why I like the saints. I like the saints not because of what they accomplished but from where they came from. They often are a motley crew of rougues and nardowells. They personally may not like me saying so but I think recognizing their humanity, it is the point. Did not the religious leaders of Jesus day condemn him for hanging out with a rough crowd? And what does he say? A doctor goes to the sick. How much more does God shine through the man or woman who was thought to be a lost cause? The Christian faith is not about pulling ones self up by owns own bootstraps...It is about allowing Christ to carry us.

We have Paul, the righteous Jew convinced that the Christians were committing blasphemy, who through transformation goes to the end of the earth proclaiming the gospel.

We have Peter, the bumbling fisherman whe swears up and down he will be faithful who rejects Christ and then, in spite of his lack of loyalty, is chosen to lead the church.

We have Augustine of Hippo, a man convinced in his youth he will figure it all out. Augustine the same man who can't stop having affairs with woman is transformed into an agent of fidelity...his witness and work helps the church survive when the rest of society was breaking apart.

The saints are all around us. In coming to the light they become light revealing that this Christian faith of ours is true.

The point here is not to compare our life with theirs but identify. Can we too be willing to allow our darkest dark become our greatest light?

They do not save us because of what they accomplished but that their transformation can be our own. We to are invited to become the people that we are called to become. The question becomes will we allow it? Will we allow the light to better transform our lives? Will we become evidence for others that this life does mean something? Will we be witnessess to the light so that others may come to see?

As I look out at this moment I can begin to truly see. I begin to perceive the truth. I can begin to see the light, not streaming through the windows but coming from these very pews. As you become who you were called to be, as you seek repentence for sin, as you love your neighbor, as you reach out of this strong house to bring this gospel message, I begin to see the SON! LOOK! Look around you!

Look at the light around you. I see it in my brother and sister. It is there...there... and there...

Surely there is a God who reigns down light.

Shine well....Shine well

a tough passage

The Old Testament option for Easter 4 is a toughy. Moses, who God kept alive by the deception of an Egyptian princess. Moses, the man who was chosen by God at the burning bush. Moses, the man who fought with Pharaoh. Moses, who brought God's chosen people out of bondage, hears what I can only assume is a bitter and devastating word; he will not enter into the promised land that is just over the next mountain.

As we all struggle with the deep frailty of humanity and strain to see where God might be in the midst of tragedy it is really hard for me to read this passage from Numbers. I want my God to be warm and fuzzy. I want my God to do things my way. I want Moses to see the land of milk and honey just like I want a world without evil. Yet that's not the way things go. God's justice is beyond human comprehension. The Promised Land of Canaan is but a boil in comparison to the glory of the heavenly domain of God. People are subject to all sorts of illness; physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. These illness cause pain, this pain causes depression and anger, this anger can lead to unspeakable acts against other human beings and we don't know why; we can't fathom why. So, like Moses, we offer prayer. Moses wanted a leader for the people because he knew left to their own devices they'd surely be destroyed. We too pray for a leader, for God, to hold tight families torn by violence. We pray for God, our leader, to heal the injured. We pray for God, our leader, to deal with justice and mercy to the perpetrators of these awful acts just as we pray that he'd deal justly and with mercy with us.

Its tough to wrap my mind around God. Hell, its impossible. Which makes it clear to me that I can't offer answers to these tough questions of life. All I can do is offer prayer and a listening ear when these situations arise. Anything else would be presumptuous. Anything else would be to take the place of God in the world, and that need not be done thanks to the risen Lord, Jesus Christ our savior and redeemer.

to hear the voice of the LORD

Over the years I have been called by many labels; conservative, liberal, angry, sunshiny, sarcastic, presbyterian, and on, and on. Aside from the ridiculous label I have fixed upon myself, my favorite label used to describe me is charismatic. I don't like it because it means people will like me and find me personable. Instead I like it because it means that I have the Spirit within me.

Of all the possible gifts of he Spirit, the charism I wish I had a little better grasp on was discernment. I wish, like the collect for Easter 4 says, "that when we hear his voice we may know him who calls us each by name, and follow where he leads." But I don't. Its hard to know who's voice I hear. Is it my own will? Is it my desire to be comfortable? Is it the devil whispering over my shoulder? Or is it actually the will of God?

Discernment is a Spiritual gift that I seek in others. If I'm going to fail at discernment, I better have someone near by who can smack me across the back of the head and shout, "listen up!" Otherwise, I'm apt to go astray, to follow too much the devices and desires of my own heart, to turn my back on God.

As Christians, we naturally count ourselves among the disciples of Jesus. In so doing, we make a claim that we, as Jesus' sheep "hear his voice. He knows us, and we follow him." Oh if it were only that easy.

i'm no saul

But I do get a good chuckle out of the story of his conversion; it reminds me of my own call to ordained ministry. Well it mostly reminds me of how funny it is; how ridiculous it is that God might choose me to do this very important work. It makes me feel happy. It makes me feel special. It also makes me very nervous, as I, like Saul, have many, many qualities that make me an undesirable candidate. There have no doubt been people like Ananias who have come into contact with me and left thinking, "oh dear God no."

It just goes to show how transformative a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ can be. Sure, Saul was an angry fellow doing dirty work, but BAM! he met Jesus on the road to Damascus and was utterly changed. Sure I am a bit contemptuous from time to time, but God is working in my heart to change me. God changed Saul into the great missionary to the Gentiles, Paul. God changed me from a shy and bitter high schooler into a confident and moderately optimistic seminarian. God changes people, and it is awesome.

one hungry lord and savior

One of the priests at my Field Ed site is also a chaplain at a local rehab hospital. She helps out on Sundays and does some pastoral care work here and there, but her main job is elsewhere as a chaplain. We were chatting before the 2nd Easter service this weekend about our respective Easter plans when she noted, "I have to preach at 1 at the hospital's service. One thing I noticed this year more than any other is the fact that the stone is rolled away. Its interesting what a big deal we make of the stone being rolled away. Wouldn't it be neater if the stone was not rolled away and Jesus was still gone?"

"Woooo," I thought, "that is something I've never thought much about either." Then I thought about the various post-resurrection/pre-ascension appearances. Jesus walks through locked doors, vanishes into thin air, appears out of nowhere, but he also eats, drinks, talks, and walked out of the tomb by way of the stone being rolled away.

It is with this conversation in mind that I arrived at the readings for 3 Easter. What a cool set of texts with one of the greatest Lectionary collects of all time attached. Paul's conversion, God's promise of restoration to Jeremiah, the Song of the Lamb in Revelation, and another awesome fish catch. All stories of misunderstanding what God is doing. All stories where God once again has to adjust our vision. All stories where the blind are made able to see; spiritually and physically.

What struck me today, however, was on the heels of that Easter discussion, just how powerful a thing it was to eat with Jesus in his resurrected state. Jesus was not a ghost haunting a group of depressed men and women; the work of their collective unconscious to rid themselves of fear and shame. Rather, Jesus was alive. Jesus is alive. He walked out of the tomb after the stone had been rolled away, and he feels compelled to eat with his disciples over and over again. The risen Jesus is one hungry lord and savior. Hungry for food, yes, but more so for the relationship that a meal together represents. To eat with Jesus is to a) accept his bodily resurrection and b) to join him in relationship.

While we no longer have the ability to eat with Jesus, we have plenty of chances to partake of him, and perhaps even better we have the opportunity to share a meal with the "least of these" which is, in effect, eating with the risen Jesus. In doing so, we can affirm what his disciples did so many years ago, He is risen indeed!

a special place in my heart

exists for ol' Thomas. Having grown up in a church named for him, and weeing in the stained glass and other artwork depictions of St. Thomas on his knees reaching into Jesus' side, I can't help but feel an affinity for him. He wanted what all the rest of us want, to see Jesus face-to-face. Its not that he didn't want to believe his friends, but rather he too wanted to experience the joy that came from seeing his rabbi, who was dead, among the living.

I'm not sure we can blame him for that. I think calling him "doubting Thomas" takes something away from the fact that we are all subject to doubt once-in-a-while. We all have questions be they about points of doctrine; the virgin birth, Creation, the filioque, the Trinity clause or otherwise; human sexuality, authority of bishops, vestments, whatever. It is ok to ask questions. It is ok to doubt. It is ok to struggle. Thomas is not chastised for his wanting to see and touch Jesus, but rather Jesus expresses the will of God, that we might believe without seeing. Its not that God doesn't want us to come to faith intellectually, but God wants trust, God wants faith, God wants relationship. A relationship is hard to sustain when one said is constantly doubting the other. Yet a relationship with God withstands all doubt and all testing. So Thomas wanted to see Jesus. I too would find this whole thing a lot easier if I got to touch Jesus' hands and side, but alas, that is not my lot in life. Instead, I'll question and I'll doubt from time to time, but I take solace in the blessing that comes from not seeing but believing.

the evolution of faith

Three portions of the Lectionary for Easter 2 struck me today.

1) When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you."

2) The high priest questioned them, saying, "We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name, yet here you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and you are determined to bring this man's blood on us" But Peter and the apostles answered, "We must obey God rather than any human authority."

3) Almighty and everlasting God, who in the Paschal mystery established the new covenant of reconciliation: Grant that all who have been reborn into the fellowship of Christ's Body may show forth in their lives what they profess by their faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

The Apostles, still unsure what to believe in John 20 have locked themselves in a room, fearful of those who killed their rabbi and friend. By Acts 5 they are so sure of their faith that they choose to obey God over the threat of punishment. What made them so confident? Faith! Like the Collect of Easter 2 says, they "showed forth in their lives what they professed by their faith." These men and women moved from fear to action in mere minutes through the power of Jesus Christ. What keeps us from action? What fears hold us at bay? Only Christ Jesus will move us to a life lived by faith.