repentance

The Youth Director at my field education site is the bomb. A computer guru by day, the man is a brilliant theologian able to speak the language of the busy, hyperstressed teenagers of the Washington Metropolitan area. He synthesizes things in a way that brings things to life for these kids (and for me and my wife) in really neat ways. Last night, another such moment happened as his lenten small group talked about sin.

"The simple definition of sin is anything that takes us away from God." CLICK! For my wife, 26 years of living as a Christian finally made sense. The man made definitions of sin we so often use; lying, cheating, playing cards, drinking, dancing, whatever, are a false construction - sin is anything that takes us away from God. Jesus is he who brings us back into right relationship with God.

We talked about this a lot last night and came up with an image for Jesus. Jesus calls us to repent of our sins (see Lent 3c). The literal translation of the Hebrew word for repent is "to turn around". So we imagined Jesus standing behind us tapping us on the shoulder. In order to speak with him we must turn around. Having done so, Jesus can so easily ask us to join him in a different way. "I know you want to go about this in your own way, but what if we tried this way, I promise it will prove beneficial."

I'm excited that Cassie finally had it all click. It proves the benefit of having a great diversity in the body of Christ. No one previously, myself included, had articulated the act of repentance in a way that Cassie was comfortable with. She could understand what they were saying, but it never really spoke to her. Pastors, parents, friends, family, husbands, fellow church-goers; no one spoke her language, until last night.

Lent 3c = GOE Set 5

And I don't like it.

Set 5, if you will recall, was the Theory and Practice of Ministry section with the 32 year-old hospice patient wondering if she had enough faith. The stories of destruction in 1 Corinthians and Luke's gospel are eerily familiar. What is the cause of calamity on earth. Why do bad things happen?

I know these are questions I'm going to have to answer. I know, however, that these are questions that I am struggling with presently. These are questions, which much like my answer to the cancer patient, I'm not 100% happy with. I don't like Paul's answer; that the people of Moses' generation were an example. I don't really like Jesus' answer; that you must repent or perish because it sounds like a) if I repent I won't parish and b) death is punishment for specific actions.

I know that the wages of sin is death. I know that death wasn't in the plan from the get-go. But I guess, I'm more of the mind that death is the result of Sin; that corporate entity that is inherent in all human systems since the fall rather than sins; those things which "from time to time we most grievously have committed." Still, this all sounds like my answer to the woman in tears, which my GOE readers most certainly didn't like. Maybe I'll have to change the answer I give others, but for me, this is what works.

I have trust issues

I know in my heart that God's will for me is perfect. I know in my heart that God will protect me. I know in my heart that the Holy Spirit, alive within me, works every minute to bring my will to perfection in the Father's will. Yet, in my head, sometimes, it is just so hard to trust.

Moses, too, had trust issues. His calling involved a bush that burned but was not consumed, how much more clarity does one need that God is at work? Anyway, Moses' call story is, for me, the quintessential call narrative. I used it last year for a Christian Ed Administration paper on the calling of volunteer leaders. It just seems the perfect example of God being God and humans being humans.

Moses, who clearly has a job, has his life completely changed by his curiosity. To return to Egypt is to take his life into his own hands. To walk up to Pharaoh and ask for the Israelites to be released is lunacy. Imagine having to share this calling with the people you are called to free? Yet, God is faithful. God responds to every one of Moses' trust issues with a word of grace.

"Who am I..." Moses says. "I will be with you..." God responds. (I have to note here the way in which I feel much like Moses. Do you see what an arrogant response Moses gives? God has just given Moses a task. God is speaking directly to Moses. God people, God. And what is Moses' first thought. "I don't have the ability to do this." It is all about him, and in no way about God. This is so true with my trust issues surrounding a job - but enough of an aside).

"Ok, but what about the Israelites?" Moses responds again. "Tell them I AM sent you." God has a plan, God knows of its wisdom, Moses isn't so sure, and God motivates. It is a cycle that happens over and over again in human history. A cycle that happens over and over again in my life. I forget that God's plan is perfect with or without me. I forget that the goal of life is perfection of the will. I forget these things and tell God that I know what's best. Like Moses I want to keep it safe and easy, but God, being God, will have none of it. God, being God, is worthy of trust, in heart and mind.