not much reflection today

What jumped out to me today is a verse that I find confusing. Having killed the requisite animals, Abram is hard at working keeping the birds of prey away, when, seemingly out of nowhere "a deep sleep fell upon Abram, and a deep and terrifying darkness descended upon him."

I'm guessing God put him to sleep, which would make sense. God was about to pass by as a flaming torch to consume all that Abram had offered, but why is the sleep that fell upon Abram called "a deep and terrifying darkness?"

I've decided to do some research, and it seems as though our Lectionary in its splitting verses (Gen 15.1-12, 17-18) has made for the confusion.

Here it is from the Lectionary:

As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram, and a deep and terrifying darkness descended upon him.

When the sun had gone down and it was dark, a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces. On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, "To your descendants I give this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphrates."

Here it is in context:
12 As the sun was about to set, a deep sleep fell upon Abram, and a great dark dread descended upon him. 13 And He said to Abram, "Know well that your offspring shall be strangers in a land not theirs, and they shall be enslaved and oppressed four hundred years; 14 but I will execute judgment on the nation they shall serve, and in the end they shall go free with great wealth. 15 As for you, You shall go to your fathers in peace; You shall be buried at a ripe old age. 16 And they shall return here in the fourth generation, for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete." 17 When the sun set and it was very dark, there appeared a smoking oven, and a flaming torch which passed between those pieces. 18 On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, "To your offspring I assign this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphrates:

God's promise in vv 13-16 isn't all good news; it isn't even mostly good news. The descendants of Abram will be oppressed in a foreign land for 400 years before they can enter the Promised Land. Surely this news is terrifying and dreadful to Abram. Just as God offers him the unfathomable news that he will sire an offspring he finds out that it is only for them to be brought very low for a very long time. Maybe that's where the dread and terror come from. Anyway, its an interesting verse, one suitable for further study.

go tell that fox...

I love the confidence with which Jesus speaks to the Pharisees here in Lent 2c. The narrative makes it hard to tell if the Pharisees are really worried about Jesus' safety, or if they just want him out of their hair. Either way, they urge him to "get away from here." Seemingly without skipping a beat, Jesus replies, "Go and tell that fox for me, 'Listen, I am casting out demons and performing cures today and tomorrow, and on the third day I finish my work. Yet today, tomorrow, and the next day I must be on my way, because it is impossible for a prophet to be killed outside of Jerusalem.'"

This is by far one of the funniest exchanges between Jesus and the religious leaders. We expect our fair Lord to defer to the will of these men. Its just how we think of him. A 6'1" hippie who skips around from town to town telling people about "love, man." But here, I think, we see a glimpse of the real Jesus; a man who knows his mission and with conviction will live it out. He doesn't bend over backward to make people happy. His message of love isn't one of acceptance, but rather repentance. And damn it, he's not finished. He's got two more days of teaching and healing before he reaches Jerusalem, and he will be there when he gets there.

I love this image of Jesus. It speaks to me as one who 1) is a bit of a push over and 2) feels as though I have a job to do in the Lord. To do it with confidence and strength is my goal. To do so would be to model Christ. You tell 'em Jesus!

O LORD God, how am I to know...

Abram asks God the question. At least for me, right now, it is the question. How am I to know that 3 years of seminary wasn't a waste? How am I to know that a call will line up in the next few weeks? How am I to know that "playing the game" is the right/wrong thing to do. How am I to know? Clearly, the Bishop didn't have all the answers I was looking for, and clearly I need to be patient, but most clearly is I'm struggling with that.

I sorta feel like ol' Abram. God and I have an agreement; God called and Cassie and I followed all the way to Alexandria. Now, God is supposed to provide a sweet ass call in the diocese, and it just isn't happening in the right time. Like Abram, I want to remind God of our agreement, as if he doesn't remember. Like Abram, I want to fix things such that they work in my timing, as if God has gone on vacation. Like Abram, I'm wrong to do so.

It is just so difficult to wait upon God, especially when God uses people to work out his plan. It feels a lot less like I'm waiting on God and a lot more like I'm waiting on the diocese or the bishop or the possible churches, and that, for me, is the hardest part. Its not like this is new for me. When I moved to GC to be with my fiance (now wife), I went for weeks without even a nibble on the job front. Ultimately I took a job waiting tables and could barely pay the bills. I was struggling then too.

My experience says that God will provide in due time. However, it is difficult to draw on experience in situations like this. O LORD God, how am I to know that you will once again provide for this impatient sinful creature? How am I to know...

those pesky brackets again

I love the Episcopal Lectionary. I'm sorry to see it go away for the RCL; I like having it right in the back of my Book of Common Prayer. Yet one thing I am hopeful for, and I think happens some in the RCL; that we might be forced to hear those parts of the Bible that make us uncomfortable. Psalm 58 with its breaking of teeth, for example. Or maybe, all of the Gospel lesson for 2 Lent, year C. The brackets which set the first half of the lesson apart make it optional. It is optional because it is hard to deal with. It is hard to deal with because it is, gulp, exclusive. We want Jesus to tell us "it is going to be OK." Instead he tells us, "there are a goodly number who will not enter the Kingdom, and even more who you think shouldn't, who will in fact dine with God."

This is not a message we like to hear. Especially as bishops send more and more functional Unitarian/Universalists to seminary, this passage, left to the BCP Lectionary would be ignored over and over again. Of course, left to the RCL, it won't even be an option (the RCL includes only the second half of the text - I guess there's a lot more to work on than I originally thought).

Anyway, we need to hear the radically particular message of Jesus. Like with the people of Israel, God chose to work in one man, in first century Palestine, for the redemption of all the world. We can debate the wisdom of this plan of God if you like, but after 2000 years, I'd say this Way has some momentum behind it. Still, we must hear that there will be those who God has not chosen (for you predestination folk) or who, when faced with the pain of an all-loving God who they over and over again rejected, will once again choose to go their own way, to take the wide door of temptation over the narrow door of freedom. We need to hear this so that we might be prepared to again and again choose the right door, the door that leads to everlasting life and perfect communion with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.