I'm kinda sure

"The LORD will make good his purpose for me; *
O LORD, your love endures for ever;
do not abandon the works of your hands."

I haven't noticed the Psalm for Weekly Lection in quite some time. I often run through it in hopes of arriving at an insightful word from Paul. Even though I am now reading the Scripture in the context of Morning Prayer (today done at 1:45 PM) I don't read the Psalm first, I just cram all the readings together. I need to work on that.

I did, however, notice the Psalm today. Verse 9 really spoke to me with its assurance and yet doubt.

"The LORD will make good his purpose for me;" - I know this. Though I am just at the beginning of my ministry, very green, very nervous, and with a lot to learn, I know that God has great things in store. I know that his purpose for me here is without compare, that is why I was called to St. Paul's. God's got some big things planned.

"O LORD, your love endures forever;" - I know this too. I've said it and sung it to God in Canticles too many times to remember since finding Morning Prayer. God's love for me, in fact for all Creation, is never ending. We were created by the overflowing of love from the Trinity. God wanted to love more and more, so He created. He repeatedly called us back from our rebellion, to the point of sending his Son, Himself, to earth to die on our behalf. I know that my God loves me.

"Do not abandon the works of your hands." - And yet. And yet, I still doubt. Your plan is good, don't let it fall through the cracks. Your love is never-ending, don't forget about me. This verse is the definition of faith for most, if not all, believers. I know, but. It is hard to trust in God. So many other things have failed us; parents, education, politicians, the Church, and on and on. We are conditioned to be guarded, to offer a Psalm like this one.

But with God, we can stop 2/3 of the way through. "The LORD will make good his purpose for me; O LORD, your love endures forever, AMEN!" Now, if I can convince myself of it, I'll be golden.