Arise, my love, my fair one,and come away;for now the winter is past... From Song of Solomon

I called in my affliction and the LORD heard me * and saved me from all my troubles.7The angel of the LORD encompasses those who fear him, * and he will deliver them.8Taste and see that the LORD is good; * happy are they who trust in him! ... from the Psalm

May the Lord who has given you the will to do these things give you the grace and power to perform them.... from the Examination

For winter is past....

Seminary was a desert time for me. I know this was party due to myself and my expectations. I expected Seminary to be a place where I might really engage with fellow Christians. And I did. What I didn't expect was that the institution and many of my classmates were so guarded. I found it stifling. I don't feel called to church that lifts up the structure over the mandates of Christ. I feel called to serve Christ and find myself amongst those also called to serve the living God.

For winter is past...

I have entered a new community. It is sort of a post hippy, left leaning, but fun loving community. I have entered a community which relishes laughter. It has been like a balm for me. Laughter, the kind that so readily admits our sinfulness without the distain of conceptions of piety. Lord save me from the uptight church.

Lessons in the desert...

The desert however is neccesary. The Israelites are tried in the desert. Jesus is tempted in the desert. John the Baptist is brought to the desert and preaches to Israel from the wastes. The irony of course is that those called to live more deeply in God were called first to the desert in order to find the "living water" of Baptism. My expectation had been that seminary was going to be the promise land. It was its dryness for me that led me out of my expectation to trust in the living God. In spite of me God continued to call...taste and see that the lord is good. It was not the grand that I could put my trust in... it was the small relationships, the re-emphasis on my family obligations, and assisting people where I could with mission. It was the little things... the still small voice of God which led through a time of dryness.

For winter is past...
I have gained tremendous amounts in the desert. In time some of the difficulties will heal over and I will begin to appreciate it for what it was. It was a time of testing. It was a time of learning. It was a time to recognize that the church is much like how it always has been, a collection of sinful, groping, wonderful people like me. The great reality being that the church has never saved. We only can point to the living God entrusting the results to him. And now the winter is past. I have entered a new place and due to the desert I have not set it to far up on the hill. Thus far we laugh. For now it is wonderful.