Good Friday 2006 - I am called to blog.

On Good Friday we are called to be like Thomas. We are called to live in doubt and fear. We are called to remember what it was like not only for the disciples, but for Jesus, the Son of God, God himself, who decended to hell.

As I write it is just past noon. The skies around Gathsemane have gone dark. The people who have mocked, spit, and scorned are now beginning to wonder; are now beginning to fear. "What if we got this wrong?" The disciples have scattered (hence the link above) and are now continuing to wonder; are now continuing to fear. "What if we got this wrong?" I sit in front of my computer, some 2000 years later, now wondering; now fearing, but my wonder and fear are a little different. "What if in all my business, all my field work, I miss the point? What if I forget to put my fingers in his hand and my hand in his side? What if I don't feel the sorrow and doubt before revelling in the resurrection?" I'm so thankful to have this place to read, pray, think, and write. For 15 minutes I am able to get out of my business and focus on my faith.

Today I am called to be like Thomas. I am called to fear and doubt. I am called to forget what I know is going to happen on Sunday and focus on the pain and sorrow of today. I am called to remember my role in the crucifixion. I am called to reflect on my God decending into hell.

I am called to blog.

From Fear to Joy: John 20 (BCP & RCL)

In Easter 2’s Gospel reading, we hear the story of Jesus on the evening of his resurrection as he enters the house of fear and doubt, re-creates his disciples and sends them out to embody God’s peace to the world. However, before he enters, the disciples hide in a house behind locked doors in fear of the Jewish authorities. This setting is quite different than the one in which the disciples sat with Jesus just a few days before: eating bread and drinking wine with their Lord. Then, they were twelve with Jesus. Now they are but ten: Judas betrayed Jesus, and Thomas is absent. Like sitting in a coastal home awaiting a tropical storm surge they sit in a house of fear.

They have some reason to be anxious. Wouldn’t we also be stressed out? This is not a poker night, this is a frightful night. The Greek word for fear in John’s gospel is “phobos,” fearfulness, timidity; shrinking from fear” – and the disciples do shrink from fear. We can imagine that the disciples bolting the doors; duct taping the windows, and stockpiling the canned food. Though the disciples hear Mary’s message of the resurrection they obviously don’t yet believe that message. In this house of fear, the disciples probably long for the past. They remember their Lord and wonder: “what will happen now?” Would he judge mercifully when he returns? The disciples were not model followers in those last days. Even Peter denied Jesus at the end. While he was alive and taught them, the twelve believed; or thought they did. But, now two are gone, what will happen to the rest of the disciples? Jesus had come, and promised he would come again. John reminds us just earlier in Chapter 20, v. 9:

“For as yet they did not understand the Scripture,

that He must rise again from the dead.”

Sitting there in that room, the disciples long for the past. But, in the present, they sit nervously, breathing the spirit of fear.

And how fear can immobilize us! Though we work to keep fear at bay, we, too, are no strangers to fear: terrorism, global warming, environmental destruction, gun violence, aging, and death. Fear can grab us and once started, it can overwhelm us like a flood. We fear for the safety of our young ones, our aging parents, and our fragile friends. Our hearts pound when the telephone rings in the middle of the night. We have resided in the house of fear. We know fear, and it can immobilize us, it can cause us to hole up in our own safe houses, our own gated communities. We can hide behind locked doors, security systems, and we try to avoid “dangerous areas.” Does our fear prevent us from living abundant lives? (Jn. 10.10) Does our fear also prevent us from looking beyond ourselves to those who don’t look like us, who don’t sound like us, who are the “other”? Does our fear prevent us from opening our doors and reaching across the divides of religion, of race, of class, of theological position?

In the midst of this house of fear, Jesus enters and says: “Peace Be With You.” Fear drains from hearts; and thoughts of the past and future are annihilated in the present. The doors open. Looking at the eyes of Jesus, hearing his voice, and seeing his outstretched arms, the disciples see the beauty and calm of the present moment. Jesus enters the house of fear and transforms fear into the radical Joy of the Resurrection!

Rules (BCP)

For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whatever is born of God conquers the world.

It is used so often its almost cliche, but CS Lewis' analogy of the world as a football match (soccer game) is an apt one. I used to be an under-8 soccer referee and believe me, a soccer game without rules is NOT FUN. So too, John writes that the rules of God are not a burden, but in fact a set up for the overcoming of the world.

It is so easy during the Easter season to preach only the triumphalist gospel, but if we give due reverence to the Lectionary we can see that we are to model the sacrifice of Christ. We are to give up those things which may feel good, but take us away from the love of God. Grace is given freely, but faith without works is dead.

High Christology (BCP)

And now, friends, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did also your rulers. In this way God fulfilled what he had foretold through all the prophets, that his Messiah would suffer. - Acts

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name. - John

We spent a lot of time in New Testament and ST-1A (Jesus Christ and Salvation) debating the assertion of the development of a high Christology (view of Jesus) over time. Now I can't say I recall definately who was saying what, nor can I say much about Acts (since we didn't get there), but comparing Acts and John has proven interesting for me.

Acts, and early history of Christianity, is thought to have been written by the same author as the Gospel According to Luke. Both texts were from about 1 generation following the resurrection. John on the other hand is considered to be a much later text (150 or so CE). In comparing the verses above however it seems both hold within them a rather high view of Jesus. Acts alludes to Isaiah and the suffering servant, while John comes straight out and calls Jesus not only the Messiah, but the Son of God.

No story today, just seems like an intersting place to go on the exegetical journey.

BCP- Aslan

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."

I must admit that there is still a large part of me who believes that I will gain some type of spiritual fruit through intention. While I believe with Luther that there is nothing that I can do to earn Grace that Grace does become more evident by actively working toward it. Jesus does not say "Your saved now go about your business" He says, "Follow me." For me actions are important if for nothing else it takes me out of the mindset that I can somehow think my way somewhere. It is good to be back doing something even through the effort.

For a class I am to think about persons who have influenced me. Providing I do not disappear again (again I sometimes forget that intention is not action so while my intention today is not to disappear it will be my feet that will have the final vote) I will be seeking to reflect on persons who have influenced. Aslan has definitely influenced me.

More than that CS Lewis vision has influenced me. I was struck this morning with Jesus "breathing" the holy spirit on them. While I had connected Aslan to Jesus I never connected his breathing with anything. This was a pleasant discovery. More on Lewis later...

go, tell

Jesus Christ is risen today!

What joyful words we have to share. What a great story summed up in Acts. God came to save us from our sin(s). God took on the sin(s) of the world. God was reconciled to himself, and so too we are reconciled through God the Son. I don't have much to say today, just that I can't wait til Easter when I can sing out in my own joyful noise that Jesus Christ is risen today!

Oppression

...how [Jesus] went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. (Acts)

Then the Lord GOD will wipe away the tears from all faces,

and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth... (Isaiah)

"Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here..." (Mark)

The discussions of the past 2 days here on campus really have me wondering, "what is oppression?" The three passages above all seem to give different indications of oppression. Jesus healed those "oppressed by the devil." Isaiah promised that God would wipe away tears and disgrace. The young man in white of Mark tells of Jesus rising from the dead.

As I struggle with white privledge and the original sin of racism I can't help but run across all these different ways of looking at oppression. But each of these definitions is used as a description of what it looks like to end oppression. People are healed, disgrace is wiped away, Jesus is alive.

Here's the point. Oppression only ends with God. With Jesus we are reconciled to God. As such we have the opportunity to be reconciled to one another. For as on Easter we come to know that God cannot be defeated, so too as an Easter poeople we must know that we are no longer slaves to sin, but to Jesus Christ who calls us to love the poor, to embrace persecution, and to be reconciled.

The hard part of course is what this end of oppression and reconciliation looks like. For that I don't have an answer. All I have is a hope that on Easter I will once again be reminded that 1- all things are possible for God and 2- its not about me.

Welcome Happy Morning

So they went out and fled from the tomb, for terror and amazement had seized them;

Isn't this the day we wait for all year long? Sure Christmas is a great holiday both secularly and in the Church, but the feast of the Nativity hardly holds a candle to this day, this happy morning when with terror and amazement we come to realize the empty tomb. After 40 long days of Lent (and 7 more "in" Lent) we have come to the Feast of the Resurrection. We have come to the happiest day of the year for we know that it is through Christ that we are saved. Jesus who died on the cross but 3 days; Jesus who fulfilled so many prophecies; Jesus who was 1 with the Father rose from the dead and defeated death once and for all.

Welcome Happy Morning, age to age shall say!

To God be the Glory (SS)

when Jesus heard it, he said, ‘This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’

I have to admit it, I hate to do it, but I just have to. Seminary has been pretty good to me. I have been blessed by great friendships, great professors, humbling experiences and those which make me proud, and just with the opportunity to know God more/better.

My struggle continues though as I try to tread that thin line between my pride and God's glory. Offering up each day to God's glory and not my own is helpful, and yet still I struggle. Last night on Americal Idol, Mandisa sang a praise song while everyone else sang pop standards from the last 6 years. Then the judges and Ryan all talked about the new religion with 40 million members all worshipping at the altar of Mandisa. She looked mortified. She had stepped out on a rather large career limb by singing this song and claiming her faith in Jesus as Lord and all society could do was give her the glory.

Sometimes I feel that way too. I send my notes out not to show how great I am at taking notes, nor for the praises of my classmates, but merely to share my gift for notetaking with those for whom interpreting Sedgwich speak doens't come easliy. Then my name goes up for Student Body President and it all rushes to my mind, what if people think I do this stuff just to get an elected position, what if my ego is crushed under the presumption of my hubris?

Then I read the passage of Jesus raising Lazarus. Down to his death, Lazarus glorified God. "When Jesus heard it, he said, ‘This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’" If my ego is crushed under the presumption of my own hubris I should be thanking God for the humility that comes from glorifying God only. Thanks be to God for those moments when we come to our knees, when we are at our lowest, and at that exact moment the one God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is glorified.

Encouragement (ss)

What a great set of passages on which Scott will get to preach. We don't spend a whole lot of time talking about the other fortunate folk who have been raised from the dead. This story from 2 Kings is a fabulous one (and deserves the whole pericope if I might add). When the woman sends for Elisha saying, "didn't I tell you not to pray for me, I didn't want to have a child, and now look" it makes my heart ache. As Paul says "the sting of death is sin." In this life we make decisions; we get married, we have children, and all is fine and fun. But these decisions to love come with great heartache. People get sick, people die and sometimes we even wish we (or they) had never been born rather than bear this pain. But G0d turns it all upside down. God tells us our loved one will rise again, and we respond, "I know that he/she will rise again in the resurrection on the last day." And whether or not the conversation goes on, we are confident in that. We celebrate lives, ministries, and relationships knowing the confidence that maybe not today, but someday soon we will see our loved on again, on the other side of the river Styx.

A new twist?- SS

One of the reasons I have slacked (see last post) is that I am working on a sermon for this monday. I thought through it and realized that while not identical to our goal, reflecting on -line on "other" readings would be in the spirit of our activity together. So, providing I don't cause a riot in my small community (Steve, John, and sometimes Peter), I will be reflecting on readings to prepare a sermon for next monday this week. I have listed the readings under the readings page as Special Sermon.

Slacker (ie negligent)

I love the web for being able to cut and paste. The two definitions below basically describe the efforts of spiritual practice this week. I have slacked whose meaning is akin to Negligent.


Main Entry: 1slack Pronunciation: 'slakFunction: adjectiveEtymology: Middle English slak, from Old English sleac; akin to Old High German slah slack, Latin laxus slack, loose, languEre to languish, Greek lagnos lustful and perhaps to Greek lEgein to stop1 : not using due diligence, care, or dispatch : NEGLIGENT2 a : characterized by slowness, sluggishness, or lack of energy b : moderate in some quality; especially : moderately warm c : blowing or flowing at low speed 3 a : not tight or taut b : lacking in usual or normal firmness and steadiness : WEAK 4 : wanting in activity : DULL 5 : lacking in completeness, finish, or perfection synonym see NEGLIGENT- slack·ly adverb- slack·ness noun


Main Entry: neg·li·gent Pronunciation: -j&ntFunction: adjectiveEtymology: Middle English, from Middle French & Latin; Middle French, from Latin neglegent-, neglegens, present participle of neglegere1 : marked by or given to neglect especially habitually or culpably : not taking prudent care2 : marked by a carelessly easy manner- neg·li·gent·ly adverbsynonyms NEGLIGENT, NEGLECTFUL, LAX, SLACK, REMISS mean culpably careless or indicative of such carelessness. NEGLIGENT implies inattention to one's duty or business . NEGLECTFUL adds a more disapproving implication of laziness or deliberate inattention . LAX implies a blameworthy lack of strictness, severity, or precision . SLACK implies want of due or necessary diligence or care . REMISS implies blameworthy carelessness shown in slackness, forgetfulness, or neglect .

My Burnt Offering (BCP)

Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice, *
but you take no delight in burnt-offerings...
The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; *
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise...
Then you will be pleased with the appointed sacrifices,
with burnt-offerings and oblations; *...

I preached a few weeks ago on God's coveant with Noah and found something quite interesting. Between the J and the E texts God makes his covenant with Noah, but across both texts God recalls the sweet smell of Noah's first burnt offering upon dry ground. It got me thinking, as did the Psalm about what my "burnt offerings" are this season of Lent. I guess blogging is one. Maybe getting back to regular chapel attendance will be another. Loving the roommate in spite of her inane nature should be one.

Yet what is my motivation for all of these? Are they offerings in which God takes no delight? Are they from a troubled spirit, a broken and contrite heart? Will God be please with these offerings? I think God will take delight in some of them, so long as their are pure motivations in my heart (read not just to get a big mansion in heaven). Yet, God doesn't need any of these. God has lifted up the once for all offering in Jesus Christ on the cross.

God may or may not delight in my offering, but in Jesus Christ, God will once again open my lips so that I might again proclaim His praise.

A Sinner Redeemed (BCP)

Every high priest chosen from among mortals is put in charge of things pertaining to God on their behalf, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is subject to weakness; and because of this he must offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people.

I'm sure Peter can clear this up for me, but I seem to recall somewhere reading Karl Barth saying preachers are in a unique position of being a Sinner Redeemed talking to a group of redeemed sinners. Studying to be a priest, this sounds good to me. As Paul points to Jesus as the High Priest for all time in the order of Melchizedek (a priest even before Levi) he points also to me. No, I am not Jesus, but I am studying to be a priest. I am getting ready to put on a mantle that is thousands of years old, and for as long as it has been around, fallen, just like those who hold the position.

As I lead my congregation in the Confession, I too ask for forgiveness. As I (God willing) offer absolution, I too feel the power of God fill me. As I (God willing) offering thanksgiving in the Eucharistic Prayer, I too seek to find my strength in Jesus Christ, the high priest forever. In all these things I lead as a sinner redeemed a group of redeemed sinners. Hopefully I do so not presuming the honor, but called by God, just as Aaron was.

Now if I could just work on that part about dealing gently with the ignorant. DANG!

Does Jesus draw ALL people? (BCP)

And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.

Lord Jesus Christ, you stretched out your arms of love on
the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within
the reach of your saving embrace: So clothe us in your Spirit
that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those
who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; for
the honor of your Name. Amen (BCP 101)

Scott emailed me about this collect a couple of days ago. He mentioned that he knew I liked this collect, and I'm not sure if he was being sarcastic or not. It made me think for a while as to whether I do actually like this collect. I think I do.

As I read through the readings today it struck me how apt this collect is (even if it isn't used on 5 Lent). We go from a universalist statement by God in Jeremiah to Jesus drawing all people to himself as he is lifted up from the earth. Its hard to read this as an orthodox Christian in light of Jesus claiming to be "the way and the truth and the life." (Jn 14.6).

But then I come back to this collect. Jesus did bring all to himself on the cross, but there are still those who still do not know. We are charged by God to bring those who don't know what it is they see on the cross to a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. We do this so that God might be glorified as once again this Lent we recall Jesus being lifted up from the earth at once defiled and at the same time glorified. Even Christ the Lord.

Shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life! (BCP)

Create in me a clean heart, O God, *and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence * and take not your holy Spirit from me (NRSV)

We just looked at Psalm 51 in OT2 two weeks ago, much to everyone's displeasure. Psalm 51 is not an easy psalm to handle. Attributed to David following the Oracle of Nathanel (2 Sam 12). What really struck me was how trite "Create in me a clean heart..." has become for me. This really hit home when I read Eugene Peterson's translation

10God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
11Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. (Ps 51 - The Message)

Looking at depth of sin in David's life brought me to my own. Sin so deep that it requires God to take another 6 days to refashion it. Sin and chaos that requires a Genesis week to fix. Yuck. But God doesn't throw me in the trash. God does not fail to breath holiness in me. Sure holiness hurts, but God's love feels so good.

Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a right spirit within me.

I feel we should explain

For those of you who check in from time to time and have noticed our distinct slack off feel this week, yes, yes we are absent. It's mid-term week at The Protestant Episcopal Seminary in Virigina which means lots of work and not much time for "spiritual disciplines."

Seems ironic I know, but hey, nobody said you'd find God at seminary.

And Yet (BCP)

They burned the house of God, broke down the wall of Jerusalem, burned all its palaces with fire, and destroyed all its precious vessels.

What a difficult reading from 2 Chronicles. God was mighty in his righteous indignation. God used outsiders to let his people know he was not happy with their actions, their decisions, their worldview. God went to the point of allowing his own house (the temple in Jerusalem) to be destroyed.

And Yet.

And yet, after 70 years of cooling off, God decided to give it another go. He worked again through outsiders, but was to retrun to his home. He fulfilled his promise to Jeremiah. God does not forget his promises. God does not forget us. No matter what we do, if we have the faith in/of Christ in our hearts and on our lips, by grace we have been saved through faith.

The weight of the quarter sits upon my shoulders. I'm so greatful for the "And Yet." I need God to remember me for by my own works I will surely fail.

BCP- Ephesians

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God-- not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.

Right now as I write I am in class. As a final session this quarter the prof invited three of our African seminarians to speak of their experience in Africa watching the Pentecostal movement and the massive birth of Christians in Africa. One of the Kenyan Seminarians spoke of his Bishop in the Anglican Church who is excited about being a Bishop. The Bishop wanted to get a bike and ride around his province wearing his Miter and wearing a large cross.

The Bishop was excited because he said " I was a nobody and in Christ I became a somebody" The seminarian then when on to say, "that's the point isn't it. We were nobody's but then in Christ we become something"

Powerful...For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God-- not the result of works, so that no one may boast.

BCP- Topsy Turvy

God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-- by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

This will be short as it is exam week. I was struck by the upside down nature of what we perceive and the action of Jesus in the world. I am alive. My writing this is testimony to my actually being alive. I live yet the epistle says that I am dead. I am dead in my trespasses...the implication is that I can not approach the God head by my own power. Jesus is alive and then crucified. He dies and I am baptized into his death. Jesus death removes me from death into life. Alive I am dead. Jesus dies and I enter into his death. By entering into Jesus death I am made alive. Topsy Turvy.